I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.
– Douglas Adams (Author, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy)

Mike Sohaskey at Windermere Marathon post-race, state 32!

(NOTE: Much of what I discuss here is exclusive to the 2020/2021 pandemic-altered Windermere Marathon course and will not necessarily apply to the “normal” point-to-point course scheduled to return in 2022. With that in mind, read on!)

Beggars, we’re told, can’t be choosers. And sometimes that’s a good thing.

Fourteen months into a global pandemic and two weeks after my second dose of the Moderna SARS-CoV-2 vaccine, I awoke to an oddly welcome and comforting sensation: a body tingling with nervous energy. Not the nervous energy of Covid-induced anxiety so ubiquitous since March 2020, but the fluttering of butterflies that usher in race day. Once reliable companions on marathon mornings, their frequency and intensity had diminished in recent years as my experience and comfort with the distance had grown.

Today, however, was different.

Crossing the street from our hotel in Spokane Valley to the cluster of low-rise office buildings where the start line awaited, I felt almost like a rookie again. After all, running 26.2 miles is an intimidating prospect in the best of circumstances, and not since I’d first covered the distance at Long Beach in 2010 had I gone so long between marathons. My most recent effort had come at the 2020 Little Rock Marathon just a week before races across the U.S. began to cancel en masse, as a novel coronavirus responsible for a severe acute respiratory syndrome in humans single-handedly (or is that single-strandedly?) knocked the world off its axis.

"The Joy of Running Together" pays tribute to Spokane's annual Lilac Bloomsday Run
“The Joy of Running Together” pays tribute to Spokane’s annual Lilac Bloomsday Run

Sure, I’d since run a 50K ultramarathon (and a personal best time) in Kansas seven months earlier, but the marathon is its own beast, one that demands its own mindset and its own approach. So that had been the focus of my training these past several months, as I’d worked my way back into respectable marathon shape. At the same time, today’s Windermere Marathon would itself double as a training run, a much-needed tune-up for my first goal race of the year, the Denali 100K in Alaska five weeks later.

Intermittent cloud cover and the promise of an unseasonably warm day in Spokane greeted Katie and me as we approached the inflatable black-and-blue start arch set up in the parking lot adjacent to the Windermere Real Estate agency. Judging by the sparse crowd, I’d be one of the last marathon starters; with runners starting in socially distanced, self-selected waves every ten minutes, I’d chosen one of the later time slots (7:20–7:30am).

Most of my fellow runners had clearly opted to start earlier, presumably to avoid the worst of the heat; however, as a night owl I knew myself well enough to know I wouldn’t sleep well if I started too early. Besides, it wasn’t like I was out here trying to qualify for Boston. So after a good night’s sleep, I fully intended to keep a cool head and enjoy the morning. Because even before a highly contagious, potentially fatal virus took the civilized world hostage, I’d long since resolved never to take race day for granted.

Bidding Katie farewell, I crossed the start line in a scene eerily reminiscent of Kansas seven months prior—by myself, peeling off my blue surgical mask and stashing it in my pocket for the next several hours. State 32 was underway, in the midst of a global pandemic.

Mike Sohaskey starting the Windermere Marathon
I hadn’t had a start line entirely to myself since… well, my last race

A River Runs Through It
Immediately the course exited the parking lot behind the office complex and headed east on the paved, multi-use Centennial Trail. Leading up to race day I’d targeted a 3hr 45min finish time (8:35/mile), an ambitious yet achievable goal under favorable conditions—the key word being favorable. With the forecast predicting temperatures in the high 70s by noon and the wispy clouds overhead already dispersing, I’d called an audible and dialed back my expectations. While there certainly are days when I’d rather push the pace early and risk flaming out spectacularly, this wasn’t one of them.

To be honest, were this a “normal” year I probably wouldn’t have been running Windermere at all. Eventually, to be sure—Spokane is a beautiful city, and as Pacific Northwest marathons go, Windermere is among the most highly rated on RaceRaves. But with 15 of my remaining 19 states in the Central or Eastern Time Zones, I’d been “saving” Washington (and Idaho, and Utah) for later in my quest to help break up my East Coast travels. Unfortunately, with vaccination in its early stages and SARS-CoV-2 still running roughshod over America, many winter/spring events had opted to either cancel or postpone to later in the year. Meaning my marathon choices for early 2021—and particularly in states where I’d yet to run—were slim pickings.

Negative Split, organizers of the Windermere Marathon as well as the nearby Coeur d’Alene Marathon in Idaho, had been one of the few companies to successfully produce running events in the second half of 2020, with painstaking Covid mitigation protocols in place to protect public health & safety. These mitigation protocols included a redesign of the Windermere Marathon course from its original point-to-point route—highlighted by Gonzaga University and ending near Riverfront Park—to a more pandemic-friendly (though still USATF-certified) double out-and-back starting and finishing at the same parking lot in Spokane Valley. Though suboptimal, this double out-and-back design eliminated the need to shuttle runners to the start, a key benefit in the age of social distancing.

Visiting the McCarthey Athletic Center aka The Kennel at Gonzaga University
McCarthey Athletic Center aka The Kennel, Gonzaga University

But while I’d have preferred to run the former course, I was wildly grateful to be able to run the latter—and with the opportunity to move ahead with my 50 States quest, I wasn’t about to let perfect be the enemy of great. Besides, we’d still be able to visit the Gonzaga campus, one of Spokane’s main attractions and home to one of the most remarkably successful college basketball programs of the past 25 years.

And true to plan, the Jesuit university had been the focus of our leisurely Saturday afternoon. Gonzaga is a charming, easily walkable campus abutting the Spokane River. This being the offseason and summer semester we couldn’t access the locked McCarthey Athletic Center aka “The Kennel” where the basketball teams play, but we were able to stroll the outer concourse of the arena. Here, tributes to past Bulldogs teams and players lined the walls, including NBA Hall of Famer John Stockton and the 2017 team that lost to North Carolina in the national championship game, just 22 years after the school’s first-ever appearance in the 64-team NCAA tournament—a stunning achievement for a university with only 5,300 undergraduates. (Returning to the NCAA tournament in 2021 as the #1 ranked team in the nation, Gonzaga would suffer its only loss of the season to Baylor in the national championship game to finish 31–1).

Leaving the air-conditioned athletic center and shaded walkways of Gonzaga, we’d driven to sun-drenched Riverfront Park, the recently renovated centerpiece of Spokane and a larger, more sprawling version of The Gathering Place in Tulsa. The legacy of the 1974 World’s Fair, Riverfront Park is dominated by Upper and Lower Spokane Falls, the beating heart of the park whose awesome power has been harnessed to generate electricity for well over a century. Further along the riverbank graceful Canadian geese floated, strutted, and honked, comporting themselves like local lords overseeing their fiefdoms. And a short walk from the falls we visited the perennially popular Garbage Goat, an inanimate metal mammal which, thanks to an internal vacuum, ingests scraps of trash that are “fed” to it, thereby doing its part to keep the park clean. Quirky, creative, and just the sort of thing I hope to find when exploring a new city.

Spokane city highlights collage
Scenes from Spokane (Clockwise, from upper left): Oversized children’s blocks with Spokane Clock Tower in the background, Riverfront Park; Garbage Goat, keeping Spokane clean since 1974; “The Childhood Express,” world’s largest Radio Flyer wagon; Monroe Street Bridge, Downtown Spokane and the Spokane River; the unofficial city slogan?

Now, running some 13 miles east of Riverfront Park, I followed the Spokane River on its eastward journey while enjoying the peaceful, tree-lined trail that suddenly felt far removed from office buildings and other signs of civilization. A hallmark of many Washington marathons is their proximity to a body of water, and Windermere is no exception; the fast-flowing river would remain a constant and soothing source of companionship throughout the morning.

“LET’S GO OUT WITH A BANG!” read a message chalked onto the trail in the opening miles, followed by an even less understated “BANG! BANG!” in chalk a few steps later. As if on cue, I glanced up to see two quails dart across the path between runners, their rapid gliding movements making me smile.

Flanked by trees on our right and the river on our left, the first five miles (aka miles 11–16 on the return trip) were the most scenic and shaded of the day, with towering evergreens bending in the breeze as though welcoming us to the Pacific Northwest. Distant homes set back from the trail came into view as we approached the Liberty Lake neighborhood, in normal years the start area for the marathon.

Often at races I’ll find myself inadvertently eavesdropping on other runners’ conversations. Such was the case at Windermere, and it occurred to me that while some of these conversations can be encouraging, many of them instead follow a different progression—one person explaining to their running mate a conversation that makes the speaker sound cool, calm and collected while depicting the other side as clueless, unreasonable and/or just plain unhinged. The brief snippets I hear from passing cyclists on my training runs tend to be even more angsty, though maybe it just sounds that way since they speak louder to be heard. At any rate, small wonder Americans have so much trouble communicating these days when the other person is always in the wrong.

Centennial Trail alongside the Spokane River at mile 2 of the Windermere Marathon
Centennial Trail alongside the Spokane River, mile 2

Running east into the sun, a slight headwind kept things cool as we passed the half marathoners’ turnaround. Suddenly the pack thinned significantly and the marathon became a lonely prospect, as I found myself alone with only two other runners visible in the distance. Certainly I’d expected that most of the runners here would be half marathoners, though not quite this many. It didn’t help that most of my fellow marathoners had chosen earlier start times.

To my right, the zoom of high-speed traffic on I-90 offered a transient distraction. Too transient as it turned out, because soon my stomach began to fuss, and by the time I reached the mile 8 turnaround, I had little choice but to accede to its demands, shameless bioterrorist that it is. Passing my first Katie sighting without slowing, I headed straight into the porta-potty standing just beyond the aid station table, a stone’s throw from the Idaho border.

Exiting a minute later, I grabbed a bottle of water from the table, took a few sips and—with a “hi” and “bye” to Katie—headed back the way I’d come. Instantly I felt better with my stomach settled and the sun at my back, and my stride relaxed as I once again passed the half marathoners’ turnaround and rejoined the flow of human traffic. A stretch of roughly 12 miles on the Centennial Trail lay between me and the next turnaround, and I focused on settling back into a rhythm while staying mentally sharp.

Mike Sohaskey approaching mile 8 turnaround of the Windermere Marathon
Approaching my own private Idaho, mile 8 turnaround

Turnaround is Fair Play
Bemoaning the minute or so I’d lost to my pitstop at the mile 8 turnaround, it occurred to me that maybe my stomach wouldn’t hold me hostage on race day if I were to train it more appropriately, for example by doing my longer training runs at the same time of day I run my races, i.e. in the early morning. In this vein, many runners while training for the Boston Marathon schedule their longer training runs for Mondays rather than weekends to prepare their bodies to run on Patriots’ Day, aka Marathon Monday. Thing is, as a night owl the evening hours are my most productive, and many of my runs—including my longer weekend runs—happen in the afternoon. So while I’m unlikely to greet the sunrise on a training run anytime soon, I do need to give serious consideration to shifting my schedule so as to make it a bit more morning friendly. Easier said than done, though, since I treasure my evening quiet time free of the usual 9-to-5 distractions.

I passed a female runner wearing a shirt that read “Thanks science! I’m vaccinated.” Yes and yes, I thought, mentally fist-bumping her as we headed in opposite directions.

Not surprisingly, spectators along the course were few and far between; those who did show, however, were boisterous in their support. This was especially true on our second visit to Liberty Lake, where I appreciated the spirited cheers coming as they did immediately after one of the few uphill jags of the day. One fellow even complimented me on my bright orange Nikes. And enviously I overheard a mother tell her sign-wielding kids, “Ok, let’s go get donuts!” Can I come?

The day had warmed perceptibly as we returned to the shade in mile 14. As a silver lining in the near-cloudless sky, the low humidity in Spokane meant we wouldn’t be battling the twin terrors of heat and humidity, as I had for example at the 2016 Hatfield McCoy Marathon in Kentucky. Heat may be uncomfortable, but high humidity’s a stone cold killa.

Mike Sohaskey passing mile 16 at the Windermere Marathon
Reluctantly passing the turn-in to the finish line, mile 16

Focusing on my stride, I passed a number of runners before reaching the turn-in to the finish line—the finish line for the half marathoners that is, and mile 16 for the rest of us. This was another design quirk unique to this year’s reimagined course, but still it felt like a punch to the gut to be running right by the finish line where the voice of the PA announcer sounded so close, you could easily imagine hearing your own name waft by on the breeze. Unfortunately, I still had ten miles to go before I’d earn that opportunity—which, on the bright side, was better than at Marshall where we’d run another 11 miles after passing the finish line the first time.

With the half marathoners out of the picture, the caravan of runners thinned considerably and I was rewarded for my efforts with my second Katie sighting. Quickly I took a few swigs of water from the bottle in her outstretched hand, then traded her for my first bottle of Maurten and pushed ahead. Every second spent not moving forward was another second the sun continued to climb higher in the sky.

Mile after mile, the Spokane River flowed serenely alongside, now on my right side as I set my sights on the second turnaround. This course reminded me of another Pacific Northwest race I’d run back in 2017, the Eugene Marathon in Oregon where we’d run several miles along the Willamette River on a similarly pleasant, tree-lined trail.

The only spectator sign I recall—because it was the only one that grabbed my attention—greeted us ominously in mile 17:

“DON’T LET THE MIND QUIT—THE BODY WON’T UNTIL IT DIES.”

Oh my, I thought, is this really what passes for inspiration in Spokane? While I got the gist of the message (I think), this sounded more like either the lyrics to an Alice in Chains song or the kind of muddled high school coach-speak I’d heard growing up in Texas athletics, the type of “motivation” often followed by an out-of-shape teammate projectile vomiting during offseason conditioning drills. In that moment, I’d have settled for more traditional encouragement like “This is an awful lot of work for a green banana” or “You’re running better than the government!”

Mile 20 offered a change of pace as the Centennial Trail crossed over the Spokane River, positioning the river to our left for the final mile leading to the mile 21 turnaround. As we continued to run away from the finish line, I fought back physical and mental fatigue while trying to will the turnaround into view. Surely we should have reached it by now?

Just when I was starting to lose patience, we reached the trail’s end and turned onto a narrow residential road where Katie greeted me at the top of a brief but nasty hill: “Nice job, the turnaround is just up ahead.” Arrgh. Shuffling ahead a few more yards, I reached the turnaround alongside the mile 21 marker, reversing direction before making one last stop to hydrate and gather my wits.

Feeling unsteady on my feet—that’ll happen after running 21 miles—I took a few more swallows of water and mumbled orders hurriedly at poor Katie as she juggled bottles and tried to anticipate my needs. Hold this! Open that! No, that! Lucky for me, she’s always a good sport and the best crew on race day. I took one quick sip of 5-hour Energy, being careful not to elevate my pulse rate too much more in the rising heat. Then, trading for a second bottle of Maurten, I thanked her and retraced my steps, knowing that in these last five miles a struggle awaited.

Mike Sohaskey approaching the mile 21 turnaround at the Windermere Marathon
Waiting for my 7th wind to kick in at the mile 21 turnaround

Hot on the Trail
By the time I reached mile 23, I needed all my focus just to keep pushing forward, and I scarcely glanced up to notice the sparkling view of the Spokane River as the trail again crossed to the other side. With limited shade along this stretch and the late morning sun approaching its zenith, the same headwind I’d begrudged earlier now became a key ally in my fight to stay cool.

Somehow—whether by sheer willpower, diligent training, super-springy Nikes or (more likely) a combination of the three—I was able to maintain forward momentum despite the intensifying sun and a couple of wicked uphill jags. In fact, my 9+ minute-per-mile pace felt downright Kenyan compared to many of my fellow marathoners who were now walking. Ignoring my own fatigue, I continued to pick off runners as we headed toward home. And I was delighted to discover that, leaden quads notwithstanding, here in my first race of 2021 and my first marathon in 14+ months, everything actually felt pretty damn good. And that in itself was a victory.

“QUIT” was the only word I saw as I glanced over at the now-familiar, unmanned spectator sign in mile 25. A cyclist approached and as he did, I realized it was Race Director Ryan. “You need anything? Water? Gatorade?” he asked. Shaking my head I muttered, “Thanks, Ryan” in a low voice I’m quite sure he didn’t hear. Then I forged ahead, feeling the gravitational pull of the finish line, which I resisted just long enough to snap one last picture of a curious, covered bridge-type structure in mile 26. I couldn’t recall ever stopping for a photo this late in a race, since usually I’m laser-focused on finishing and too exhausted to care about anything else.

My Garmin chimed for the 26th time and suddenly my legs felt very heavy, as though forgetting we still had 0.2 miles to go. Lifting my eyes from the trail, I saw the final turn ahead as the cheers of several volunteers and Katie welcomed me back. Making the turn I’d so envied ten miles earlier, I climbed the last few yards back to the parking lot outside the Windermere Real Estate offices and jubilantly crossed under the bright blue finish arch, stopping the clock in a time of 3:51:25. And for the first time in memory, Katie would be the person to hang the finisher’s medal around my neck, after I’d received the medal at packet pickup (another pandemic workaround) but waited superstitiously until this moment to unveil it.

Covered bridge-like structure under the train bridge at mile 26 of the Windermere Marathon
Covered bridge-like structure under the train bridge, mile 26

Though not the 3:45:00 I’d been hoping to chase in cooler weather, given the unseasonal heat I was satisfied with a respectable sub-4 hour showing. And I credit my carbon fiber-plated Nikes with providing a (literal) spring in my step that kept my legs fresher for longer on race day. I run enough marathons—and am just enough of a shoe nerd—that carbon fiber-plated technology is worth the investment. And I’m for any healthy, legal advantage I can get on race day—after all, my biggest competitor will always be myself.

Normally staged at the festive finish line near Riverfront Park, the post-race gathering this year was held in the start/finish parking lot and was understandably scaled back to avoid crowds and limit high-contact areas. Big thanks to Meltz and Cosmic Cowboy Grill for providing post-race food options, which as usual my disinterested stomach refused to consider.

I compared notes with a group of running friends who were using Windermere to train for an upcoming 50-miler in Montana. And I made a point to congratulate 64-year-old Carolann from Florida who, according to the PA announcer, had just finished her 50 States quest here in Spokane. Admittedly, I felt a pang of sympathy for her at having to conclude such a long and arduous journey in Covid-contorted conditions. Even so, the global context in no way diminished her remarkable achievement, and I’m glad I could be there to acknowledge it.

Sunset over the Spokane River
Sunset over the Spokane River

Then Katie and I slowly made our way back across the street to the Hampton Inn & Suites for a shower before dining on our way to the airport at the Yards Bruncheon in Kendall Yards near Riverfront Park. Unfortunately, there are no nonstop flights from Spokane to Los Angeles on Southwest Airlines, and so that night was a long one as we endured a layover in one of my (least) favorite cities, Las Vegas. On the second leg of the trip my usual post-marathon congestion-with-cough kicked in, and though I tried to clear my throat quietly behind my mask, I’d imagine I earned a few sidelong glances from my fellow passengers. No worries, I’m vaccinated!

(Have I mentioned vaccines may be the single greatest scientific discovery in the history of mankind? Thanks, science!)

This (and last) year’s Windermere Marathon was unfortunately constrained by a global pandemic not of its making and out of its control. That said, Windermere was one of the few races to actually take place during the pandemic, and the fact it happened at all is a testament to the team at Negative Split, who bent over backwards to implement one of the nation’s first Covid mitigation protocols to protect the health and safety of their runners. Although Windermere’s downhill, point-to-point marathon course and post-race party in Downtown Spokane were necessary casualties of the pandemic, still I’d rate the weekend an unqualified success. And I’ve no doubt that in a “normal” year, Windermere would make a terrific choice for 50 Staters and anyone seeking a Pacific Northwest marathon.

So while the pandemic may have derailed everyone’s best-laid plans and prompted me to pull the trigger on Washington ahead of schedule, it all worked out in the end as I added another puzzle piece (and state 32) to the four-dimensional game of real-world Tetris that is my 50 States quest. Just as in so many other aspects of life, adaptability is key to 50 States success, and so sometimes beggars can’t be choosers—though most people say that like it’s a bad thing.

But I beg to differ.

Windermere Marathon finish line selfie, Mike Sohaskey & Katie Ho

BOTTOM LINE: Named for a local real estate agency and its eponymous foundation dedicated to helping low-income and homeless families, Windermere is a relaxed, picturesque marathon that will be even better in the post- (as it was in the pre-)Covid era. This is largely because 2022 is expected to welcome the return of the original point-to-point course, which includes 11-ish miles of this year’s route plus Gonzaga University and a festive finish near Riverfront Park (in contrast to this year’s necessarily low-key start & finish in the parking lot of the Windermere offices in Spokane Valley). That said, this year the Negative Split team did a terrific job turning gators into Gatorade with a pleasant, well-supported event that consisted of two out-and-backs on the paved Centennial Trail along the Spokane River. I’m typically no fan of out-and-backs, and especially in the later miles when you can clearly see the fatigue on the faces and in the body language of your fellow runners who are several miles ahead of you. Unfortunately, a global pandemic tends to limit your options as a runner or race director. And the river is a beautiful centerpiece for the race, even if the non-river side of the course doesn’t always live up to the same scenic standard.

Spokane itself is a charming city with two main highlights for the weekend tourist: Gonzaga University, a small Jesuit university that’s paradoxically home to one of the premier men’s college basketball programs of the past 25 years, and Riverfront Park, which is the legacy of the 1974 World’s Fair and the focal point of downtown Spokane. Riverfront Park feels like a more sprawling version of Tulsa’s Gathering Place but with a nicer river frequented by gaggles of elegant Canada geese. And while the park is the emerald jewel of the city, its beating heart is mighty Spokane Falls, whose power has been harnessed to generate electricity for well over a century. One of the joys of racing in Washington is that many (if not most) of the state’s marathons & half marathons run within view of an impressive body of water, and Windermere’s course alongside the fast-flowing Spokane River is no exception.

PRODUCTION: Windermere (along with Negative Split’s other marathon in nearby Coeur d’Alene) was one of the few marathons held in the U.S. in 2020, albeit with significant changes, and it was clear from this year’s production that this was not the team’s first pandemic rodeo. From the quick & easy outdoor packet pickup at the local Fleet Feet store (finisher medal included) to the rolling start line to the scaled-back post-race gathering, race weekend was seamless if subdued. The entire process gave me a renewed appreciation—and frustration—for the fact that given the chance to implement similar Covid mitigation strategies based on the science of viral transmission, more events could have safely and responsibly moved forward with reduced field sizes last year.

Out-and-back courses typically aren’t my jam, but this year it couldn’t be helped, and more than anything I think most of us were grateful for the chance to be healthy and racing again. The DIY aid stations were an afterthought for me since I only paused at the mile 8 turnaround to grab a bottle of water, but Race Director Ryan did pass me on a bike in the later (warmer) miles asking if I needed water, Gatorade or anything else, so a shout-out of gratitude to him. More than anything, I appreciated that mile markers were taped to the trail throughout the race, and especially in the closing miles when mentally I celebrate every mile marker as a mini-finish line. Plus, race photos were free, though for whatever reason no photos of me were available—not a big deal since Katie captured plenty along the course.

Windermere Marathon medal with Spokane Lower Falls seen from Monroe Street Bridge
Spokane Lower Falls seen from the Monroe Street Bridge

SWAG: The multi-blue finisher medal is brightly colored and nice enough, though as one-third of a three-piece interlocking medal for runners of Negative Split’s Run the PNW Series (comprising Windermere, The Split Half Marathon and Coeur d’Alene), it’s wedge-shaped and visually less satisfying than a comparable standalone medal. That said, I can imagine the three-piece medal in its entirety would be a lovely keepsake. Fortunately, the long-sleeve black tech shirt is a keeper—I know some folks aren’t fans of black and especially during the summer months, but having grown up an unabashed fan of heavy metal music, for better or worse I still have a soft spot for black clothing, even as my closet steadily fills with race apparel.

Updated 50 States Map:

Mike Sohaskey's 50 State map as of May 2021

RaceRaves rating:

FINAL STATS:
May 16, 2021 (start time 7:29 am, sunrise 5:09 am)
26.33 miles in Spokane, Washington (state 32 of 50)
Finish time & pace: 3:51:35 (first time running the Windermere Marathon), 8:48/mile
Finish place: 42 overall, 4/12 in M(50-54) age group
Number of finishers: 200 (105 men, 95 women)
Race weather: cool & sunny (57°F) at the start, warm & sunny (75°F) at the finish
Elevation change (Garmin Connect): 371 ft gain, 404 ft loss
Elevation min, max: 1,909 ft, 2,047 ft

We do not rise to the level of our expectations. We fall to the level of our training.
– Archilochus

Prairie Spirit Trail sign at Princeton Trailhead on Kansas Rails-to-Trails Fall Ultra course

Extravaganza may be overstating things a bit, I thought as we pulled up in front of Celebration Hall on a cold, gray October Friday. Or maybe an extravaganzum is in the eye of the beholder. I stared out the windshield at the low-slung building with beige siding that looked more like an oversized utility shed than a venue for revelry, as its name would suggest. Having spent much of my childhood on military bases in the Dallas/Fort Worth metroplex, those long-dormant memories sprang to mind as I laid eyes on austere Celebration Hall, the apparent centerpiece of the Franklin County Fairgrounds.

Clearly we weren’t in Los Angeles anymore. We weren’t even in Omaha. As it turns out, the oddly serene town of Ottawa, Kansas—population 12,260 as of 2019—would be among the smallest we’d visited to date on our running tour de America. Ottawa’s eerily quiet downtown district and largely empty streets belied its status as “Playful City USA,” a designation trumpeted by a sign across the street from the local cemetery near the edge of town.

Then again, we’d arrived on a Friday afternoon in the midst of a global pandemic, so I had to assume a perfect storm of quitting time and COVID-induced closures had sapped much of the town’s usual energy. On the bright side, I’m happy to report that if you’re tired of sitting in Friday rush hour traffic and need a change of pace, Ottawa may be just the place for you.

Celebration Hall, the start & finish line for the Kansas Rails-to-Trails Fall Ultra Extravaganza
The sign on the building says it all

Unfortunately we couldn’t just click our ruby red slippers together to get here… though the actual journey hadn’t been that much more demanding. A three-hour flight to Kansas City on a socially distanced Southwest flight, followed by a 1½-hour drive with a brief stop at the Olathe Whole Foods, had brought us into Ottawa in plenty of time for our current errand—pre-race packet pickup at Celebration Hall, which not surprisingly was a quick and easy affair. Though not exactly the bustling McCormick Place on the eve of the Chicago Marathon, it felt amazingly good to be around a handful of other runners who likewise seemed excited to run the next day.

Here I should back up a step and say that in a perfect world, Ottawa wouldn’t have been my first choice for a Kansas race. That would have been Abilene which, despite being a Toto-size town with half the population of Ottawa, is home to the Eisenhower Marathon and the Dwight D. Eisenhower Presidential Library & Museum. I do appreciate presidential libraries (we’d visited the Clinton Presidential Library & Museum during our first visit to Little Rock three years earlier), and I’d been hoping to visit Ike’s boyhood home for my first Kansas marathon.

But if we’ve learned anything in the past year, it’s that the world is far from perfect (why do you think its two wealthiest individuals are trying so hard to get off the planet?). With the pandemic effectively putting the kibosh on racing season across the U.S., including April’s Eisenhower Marathon, the tiny Kansas Rails-to-Trails Extravaganza (KRTE) in October emerged as one of the few legitimate options that would allow me to check off at least one new state in 2020. I still like Ike and have my eye on Abilene, but aside from Idaho, Washington and Utah (which I’m “saving” to balance out the fact nearly all my remaining states fall east of the Mississippi River), Kansas was the westernmost state remaining on my 50 States Map. Which meant it was also among the shortest flights, a key consideration in the time of COVID.

Extra precautions while traveling during a pandemic
Traveling during a pandemic can be… challenging

That said, I never run a race simply to check off a state, and I wouldn’t have chosen KRTE if I’d sensed it would be the red-headed stepchild of my 50 States quest. Rather, KRTE appealed to me as a small, low-key event with a quintessential Kansas aesthetic. As a bonus, its fast and flat course along the remote, unpaved Prairie Spirit Trail offered a golden opportunity to improve my 50K personal best time of 5:35:39, set 3½ years earlier at Way Too Cool. Plus, the spring version of the race, the Prairie Spirit Trail Ultra, gets solid reviews on RaceRaves. So KRTE struck me as the right race at the right time and a much-needed opportunity to escape a locked-down California, if only for the weekend.

My confidence to chase a personal best was due more to the nature of the course than my own preparations. My previous four 50K races had been rugged, challenging affairs, three of which had taken well-nigh everything I had just to finish. And while I wouldn’t be in tiptop shape for Kansas after a high ankle sprain in April had sidelined me for two months and sabotaged my summer training regimen, I felt I was in good enough shape to challenge my personal best on the non-technical, runner-friendly Prairie Spirit Trail.

The more tantalizing question would be, could I break five hours? Because that’s my “A” goal at the 50K distance.

I’d only committed to racing earlier in the month when I’d added my name to the waitlist, at which time Race Director Carolyn had assured me she’d be able to fit me in for the sold-out event. True to her word I’d been plucked from the waitlist the next day, and now here we were two weeks later in a setting that could hardly have been more different than the one we’d left.

Franklin Country Courthouse in Ottawa, KS, host to the Kansas Rails to Trails Fall Ultra
The Franklin County Courthouse is the most impressive building in Ottawa

Whereas I’d been training in the extended SoCal summer, a parallel weather universe awaited us in Kansas where the forecast called for 85°F heat on Thursday, rain on Friday (our arrival day), cold & partly sunny conditions on Saturday (race day), then more rain on Sunday transitioning to snow on Monday. Apparently, we’d hit the sweet spot between the end of summer on Thursday and the start of winter on Monday—all of autumn in one weekend, as it were. And honestly, the cold (sans precipitation) would be a nice change of pace.

Along with the weather, the most dramatic change of pace was Ottawa itself, which felt very much like the ghost town that time forgot. Strolling its sparse, quiet Main Street, we passed old-school retail establishments like Sears Hometown (a small hardware & appliance store) and several antique shops, most if not all of which appeared to be closed on this Friday evening. The closest we’d come to seeing a crowd all weekend would be the line of cars queuing up outside Daylight Donuts on race morning.

Plaza 1907 cinema in downtown Ottawa, KS
Plaza 1907, the world’s oldest continuously operating cinema

Just as there’s a fine line between antique and old, so too is the relationship between quaint and obsolete. Ottawa walked that line like a skilled trapeze artist. Time and again I’ve discovered that given the chance, every place will reveal its charms sooner or later, and Ottawa was no exception. In the single block that comprised the town’s Downtown Historic District we visited Plaza 1907, believed to be the world’s oldest continuously operating cinema (est. 1907) and certainly not a landmark I’d expect to find in the middle of the country. Due to the pandemic we couldn’t go inside, but just allowing myself to appreciate its unassuming façade and rust-colored marquee through nostalgic eyes was gratifying for someone more accustomed to the glamour, glitz and grit of modern-day Hollywood.

One block south of the Plaza on Main Street, the stately Franklin County Courthouse drew our attention with its soaring red brick exterior and white sandstone trim accented by a series of arches and gables. Sharing the Courthouse grounds were the Franklin County Veterans Memorial and a chainsaw-carved statue of the Courthouse architect, George Washburn.

Our tour of Downtown Ottawa complete, we stepped back into yet another era as we checked into our Airbnb, aka the “Sherbet Suite,” a groovy midcentury modern retreat featuring orange-and-green decor, Star Wars memorabilia and a movie poster from the 1968 Jane Fonda cult classic Barbarella: Queen of the Galaxy. There we settled in comfortably to prepare a pre-race carbo-feast while watching our hometown Dodgers seize control of the World Series with a Game 3 victory over the Tampa Bay Rays. Seeking any edge I could get in my pursuit of a personal best, I internalized the win and treated it as a promising sign for the day ahead.

Classic movie memorabilia courtesy of Sherbet Suite in Ottawa, KS
Classic movie memorabilia courtesy of the Sherbet Suite, Daddy-O

Sunflower State of mind
Taking one last deep breath I donned my blue surgical mask, pushed open the car door and stepped out into a bitterly cold Saturday morning. The temperature hovered just above freezing with minimal wind as I braced myself mentally & physically for the 31 miles to come. Normally Celebration Hall would have been open to all participants to await the start of the race indoors, but not today—not in the age of COVID.

Stepping up to the blue start arch, I marveled at the anticlimactic feel of the moment. That’ll happen when you’re the only runner on the start line. Each participant had been assigned a 10-minute window in which to start their race, and I’d been one of 13 runners assigned to the 8:15–8:25am time slot, the last of the morning. So whether there’d be other runners starting behind me or everyone else had gone ahead, I had no idea. Not that it mattered—this wasn’t a 100-yard dash, after all. So I waved sheepishly to Katie one last time before setting out under the blue arch alone for my 5-hour tour of Ottawa and beyond.

Rather than my usual RaceRaves gear, today I’d be sporting my 2017 Missoula Marathon shirt in remembrance of our friend and Missoula Race Director Tony Banovich, who’d died suddenly in his sleep ten days earlier (and one day after we’d exchanged emails) from progressive viral cardiomyopathy. Tony’s condition had worsened over time (thus the “progressive” aspect) to the point he’d been awaiting a heart transplant when he died. My shirt would elicit a few Missoula shout-outs from volunteers and fellow runners alike, which brought a smile to my face.

Mike Sohaskey crossing the start line at the Kansas Rails-to-Trails Fall Ultra Extravaganza

Exiting the Franklin County Fairgrounds, we immediately headed north for a 3½ mile out-and-back on the paved, northernmost portion of the Prairie Spirit Trail. Feeling grateful to be back in my element, I greeted runners coming in the opposite direction with a “G’ morning!” as I tried to keep my mile pace between 9:00 and 9:30, a task made easier by my suboptimal training.

Nice start to the day, I thought as we ran through residential neighborhoods past modest, unpretentious homes and colorful playground equipment made more vibrant by a backdrop of steely gray sky. A sign in front of one building announced the disappointing news that “do to” the pandemic and orders from the state health department, there’d be no Halloween celebration this year. And I was pleasantly surprised by the number of lawn signs proclaiming support for the Biden/Harris ticket and for Democratic Senate candidate Barbara Bollier.

(Unfortunately Bollier would lose her bid, and her newly elected opponent Roger Marshall’s first order of business would be to flaunt his street cred with fellow Republicans by signing on to the Big Lie and voting to throw out the certified results of the 2020 presidential election.)

Ottawa Kansas lawn signs during 2020 election season
Some of the best fall scenery in Kansas

Ironically, the turnaround for this short out-and-back was located on the street just outside our Airbnb, and when I arrived Katie was cheering from the sidewalk while chatting with the race director’s parents. Retracing my steps, I headed back toward Celebration Hall… and while I did pass a few runners along this stretch, I didn’t see anyone coming in the opposite direction from the start, meaning I may very well have been the last runner across the start line.

The Prairie Spirit Trail actually starts in Ottawa roughly ¼ mile south of the race turnaround point. From there it runs almost due south for 51 miles before ending in Iola, where it transitions to become the Southwind Rail Trail. The Kansas Rails-to-Trails Extravaganza features a variety of distances (hence its name) ranging from a half marathon to 100 miles; intrepid 100 milers cover the trail in its entirety with a turnaround point in Iola at the southern terminus.

Sensing movement to my left, I glanced over to see a squirrel running parallel to me through the trees lining the trail. Kansas wildlife, I thought with a smile.

Passing the Fairgrounds, we continued south until the trail dead-ended at a sidewalk that led us beneath the I-35 overpass. Crossing under the highway, we immediately rejoined the trail as the surface transitioned to crushed limestone and dirt. Happily I cruised along while maintaining that same comfortable 9:00–9:30/mile pace. As I did so, I passed one runner after another spread out along the trail, which added to my confidence—this was one clear benefit to starting last. And I’d definitely picked the right race for social distancing purposes.

Prairie Spirit Trail course, miles 5 etc. of Kansas Rails-to-Trails Fall Ultra Extravaganza
Prairie Spirit Trail, mile 5 (and 6, and 7, and 8…)

The scenery was unchanging for the most part, and I was fine with that. Trees and bushes in the midst of their autumn transformations lined the double-wide trail on both sides. Beyond those, wide swaths of prairie filled the horizon interspersed with farmland and amber waves of grain as far as the eye could see. In the distance, the occasional low-slung structure (home? ranch? storage shed?) could be seen just off the main highway that shadowed us to the east. Every mile or so, the trail would cross a one- or two-lane road—some gravel, others paved—and though I did see the occasional car kicking up dust, I never had to pause for one.

And that, more or less, was the Prairie Spirit Trail I experienced in all its secluded glory. Having only briefly set foot in the Sunflower State once before, this was exactly what I think about when I think about Kansas. But whereas a state like Utah consists of 70+% public land (owned by the federal or state government), more than 97% of the land base in Kansas is private property, making publicly accessible, recreational trails like the Prairie Spirit Trail particularly important to the health and well-being of the state’s residents.

I approached two women, one of whom wore a sign on her back announcing this as her first 50K while her companion had her own sign proclaiming this to be her 100th marathon/ultra. I congratulated them both, assuring the former (in case she didn’t know) that she’d picked a great course for her first.

Mike Sohaskey approaching Princeton aid station during Kansas Rails-to-Trails Fall Ultra Extravaganza
Welcome to Princeton, mile 11

Due in part to the cold and my lack of thirst, I hardly registered the unmanned aid station at mile 7 (nor at mile 28 on the way back), a DIY setup that consisted of a storage bin filled with plastic water bottles and left on a bench. Did I mention this was a low-key event?

Per race guidelines, aside from the first turnaround in Ottawa my only Katie sightings would be at the three manned aid stations which doubled as crew access points—one in the tiny town of Princeton at miles 11 (out) and 24 (back), the other in Richmond at the mile 17.5 turnaround where the towering Beachner Grain elevator reminded us that we were in the heartland of America.

Thanks in part to the wintry weather and my controlled tempo, my nutritional needs for the day were minimal. I took two sips of Maurten at the first Princeton stop, followed by a semi-frozen GU at the Richmond turnaround where I also grabbed the bottle of Maurten and finished off that morning’s 5-hour Energy to kick-start my return journey. And at my final stop in Princeton I was able to down half a pouch of baby food, a much-needed alternative to GU and one which helped to settle my stomach for the remaining 14 miles.

Given the sparsity of people, most of whom were volunteers or crew for other runners, social distancing was no problem at these stations. Katie, for her part, resembled a purple Jawa (minus the scavenging behavior) with only her eyes visible behind a puffy Columbia down jacket, hood and mask.

Beachner Grain elevator in RIchmond, KS
Beachner Grain elevator in Richmond, mile 17.5

With an {ouch ouch} here, and an {ouch ouch} there
Retracing our steps back toward Ottawa, it wasn’t long before I was ready to be done. My attention drifted, and I kept reminding myself that every step brought me one step closer to the finish line, to reuniting with Katie and to notching another state—very likely my only new state of 2020. I could easily imagine this heavily wooded trail in the summer, verdant and alive with ripe, tasty berries, assorted wildlife and flying, biting, stinging insects. As a runner, I much preferred the status quo.

(Side note to trail runners: If you’re in the market for a great trail shoe, I’ve often thought the Altra Superior—which I first purchased for the Ice Age 50 Miler in 2016 and still wear to this day—may be the most comfortable running shoe I’ve ever owned, road or trail. For 50 miles at Ice Age and 31 miles at KRTE my feet felt great with zero complaints, a victory in itself and especially on trails where footing can be notoriously uneven and unpredictable.)

Most of the spectators along the course had four legs, while most of the two-legged spectators had wings. Around mile 25, a few disinterested cows on one side of the trail and several chickens on the other watched as I shuffled by, as if to say Hey human, we’re udder-ly exhausted just watching you, and Hey human, who’s the bird brain now? By this time runners had stopped coming in the opposite direction, meaning I’d be alone with my thoughts—talking farm animals and all—for most of the final 10K (6.2 miles).

Fowl spectators at the Kansas Rails-to-Trails Fall Ultra Extravaganza
If I’m being honest, chickens don’t make the most supportive spectators (mile 21)

Which turned out not to be the best idea. As my mileage mounted and my fatigue followed, it became increasingly difficult to maintain momentum on the flat, unchanging terrain. At miles 25, 26 and 28, I slowed briefly to a walk while trying to loosen up my uncooperative hip flexors and quads with a few quick knee raises. Each time, despite persistent protests from my lower body, I’d force myself to speed up again to a pace that felt more like running than walking.

With less than 10K to go, it would have been oh so easy to extend my walk breaks, to pat myself on the back for an impending personal best, and to listen to the nagging voice in my head telling me I had nothing left to prove here today. But it would have been a lie, because there’s always something left to prove, even if that means pushing myself into an unpleasant place I’d rather not go. More than anything, I didn’t want to look back at my time on the Prairie Spirit Trail as an opportunity squandered.

The truth is, running is a much more nuanced sport than it may seem to the casual observer, and every runner experiences race day in a different way. The gazelles who start at the front and run with the leaders experience a much different race than those at the back of the pack. But no matter where you start or finish, until you’ve been there yourself it’s impossible to describe the willpower needed to persevere in the face of growing exhaustion. One minute of walking can quickly turn into two can turn into four can turn into an easily justifiable excuse for why this just wasn’t my day, I’ll get ‘em next time.

Autumn foliage in Ottawa KS
I can’t speak for winter, spring or summer, but Ottawa brings the charm in autumn

Counterintuitive as it may sound, that exhaustion is my most satisfying and personal reward. Sure, as a collector I love the artistry of the finisher medals, and they make a great Zoom background—but in the end it’s that empowering, full-body fatigue I carry with me across the finish line that I wish I could bottle and share with every non-runner.

Having no idea if a five-hour finish was still in my sights, I resolved to keep pushing, to dig deeper… and in the end that would be enough, no matter the outcome. All of which was easier said than done, as my quads grew heavier with every step. Here, with nothing but fauna and flora to keep me company, I could have used some on-course distraction from someone other than Old MacDonald. Instead I motivated myself with the comforting thought that our friend Tony was running alongside me and kicking my butt to the finish, just as he’d done three years earlier in the home stretch of his own Missoula Marathon.

At last, in mile 30, I emerged from the trees and bid an unsentimental farewell to the Prairie Spirit Trail. Passing a few more runners, including one fellow who was clearly nursing cramps (and so close to the finish!), I focused on making each step as efficient as possible as I shuffled toward home on the unforgiving asphalt alongside US-59. The trail briefly transitioned to gravel and then back to asphalt, not that it mattered—my legs were pretty much toast, and only dialing down the gravity would have made this home stretch less arduous.

Sharing a light moment at the Princeton aid station, mile 24 of Kansas Rails-to-Trails Fall Ultra Extravaganza
Luckily there were no frozen flag poles to worry about (Princeton, mile 24)

The last mile was a painfully straight shot and I kept glancing ahead, wanting nothing more than the reassurance of seeing the final turn into the Fairgrounds that signaled the end. Where was that f*#@ing turn? In the distance I could see tiny orange dots, and as I continued to push, push, push as hard as I could while going nowhere fast, the dots gradually became pylons blocking the trail where the turn would be. As slowly as I was moving, still I caught a fellow runner who’d been far ahead of me but who now was alternating a few steps of jogging with a few more steps of walking. As I passed, I tried to draw any residual energy I could from this final conquest.

My Garmin chimed to signal mile 31 (or maybe to ask, are we there yet?). As if on cue, I’d reached the orange pylons. One thing was certain: this course measurement was spot on. Relief greeted me as I turned onto the dirt for the best part of the race, the last 100 or so yards. Pumping my fists weakly I crossed under the red finish arch, gratefully accepted my medal handed to me by a masked volunteer, and leaned over with hands on knees as a wave of nausea washed over me. Luckily the sensation passed quickly and I threw my arms around Katie, basking in my happy place and the triumphant afterglow of my best-ever 50K. And for just a few heartbeats in the midst of a global pandemic, the world felt almost normal.

Mike Sohaskey crossing the finish line of the Kansas Rails-to-Trails Fall 50K
State #31 ✅ | 50K personal best ✅ | Utter exhaustion ✅

Mission (semi-)accomplished
Silently and with immense gratitude I paid my last respects to our buddy Tony, who’d once been known as the fastest man in Montana and whose spirit had sustained me out on the Prairie Spirit Trail when the going got tough.

I’d finished in 5:01:07 to set a personal best by 34 minutes, despite falling 68 seconds shy of my ultimate goal. And I was 100% satisfied with the result—I’d gotten in and out of the aid stations quickly and couldn’t point to a single second (much less 69) of wasted time. What’s more, not a single runner had passed me all day. I’d run as well as my intermittent training allowed, and as I write this now I look forward to my next shot at a sub-5 50K, hopefully at the Dallas Marathon’s 50th anniversary weekend (already twice delayed due to the pandemic) in December.

One year, one new state… at this rate I’ll finish my 50 States quest when I’m a spry 69 years young. Here’s hoping COVID-19 is the last global pandemic of the 21st century.

Paying our respects to Dr. James Naismith on the University of Kansas campus
A moment with Dr. James Naismith, inventor of basketball, on the University of Kansas campus

The next day would confirm I’d given everything I had as I hobbled around the University of Kansas campus in nearby Lawrence on stiff, sore and semi-useless legs. And it was only with great effort (and little help from my quads) that I was able to stand up once our flight touched down in Los Angeles on Sunday evening.

Speaking of flights: if not for the Dodgers losing Game 4 in walk-off fashion on Saturday, which delayed their World Series-clinching win to Tuesday, we would have flown out of the home of the NBA champs (Los Angeles) on Friday morning, into the home of the NFL Super Bowl champs (Kansas City) on Friday afternoon, and then back into the home of the MLB World Series champs (LA) on Sunday. Clearly I owe my personal best, at least in part, to karma in the jet stream.

US and Kansas flags waving in the wind

Back at the finish line, I visited the massage table for some much-needed work on my quads and left Achilles, which didn’t last long once my body temperature dropped and I began to shiver uncontrollably. As I lay on the table an older runner charged across the finish, yelled “FUCK YEAH!” and spiked his water bottle like he’d just caught the game-winning touchdown from Tom Brady. Then he kept on running, leaving the bottle on the ground for someone else to discard. Um, congrats?

I thanked Race Director Carolyn for a terrific event; she and her team had been very conscientious about COVID protocols. I also bought an attractive charcoal-and-green race sweatshirt to commemorate my new personal record, because at age 50 I don’t have too many more of those in me. I look forward to the end of this pandemic and being able to escape SoCal for cold climes now and then so I can wear it.

Kansas highlighted one of the many things I appreciate about this 50 States quest. I’ve crossed more than 50 marathon/ultramarathon finish lines, and yet KRTE was unlike any race I’ve run—a fast, flat, easy-on-the-legs trail ultra in small-town America. Aside from Way Too Cool my four previous 50Ks nearly killed me, so it was a (literal) breath of fresh air to be able to get out in nature and simply enjoy running the distance for a change. KRTE was the perfect race for pandemic times. And it’s not every day you can run for five hours and go home with a personal record—though in this case, it just made sense.

After all, you can’t spell “Prairie” without a PR.

Mike Sohaskey & Katie Ho finish line selfie at the Kansas Rails-to-Trail Fall Ultra Extravaganza

BOTTOM LINE: The Kansas Rails-to-Trails Extravaganza was the perfect race to help maintain my health, sanity and motivation in the midst of a global pandemic, as for five (near-freezing) hours I was able to forget the virus heard round the world. And if you’re a fan of low-key, small-town events that feature grain elevators as highlights, then this may be the perfect race for you in any year. With a population of around 12,000 residents, Ottawa is one of the smaller towns I’ve visited in my 100+ races—a bit ironic, given that my original choice for the Sunflower State was the Eisenhower Marathon in Abilene, a town half the size of Ottawa.

The bulk (24.6 miles) of the 50K course runs north/south on the comfortable crushed limestone of the Prairie Spirit Trail, book-ended by 5 miles at the start and 1.5 miles at the end on paved terrain. (The 100 Mile course covers the entirety of the PST.) It’s tough to imagine a much flatter or straighter course than this one. And though the rural route lets you decompress and breathe, the flip side is that you better enjoy time alone with your own thoughts, because there’s little in the way of distraction—no energetic spectators or musical bands, only amber waves of grain as far as the eye can see. Aside from aid station volunteers and a few folks crewing for other runners, most of the spectators had four legs, and most of the two-legged spectators had wings. With the trail stretching out ahead of you for miles at a time, you’ll swear you can see Nebraska to the north and Oklahoma to the south. At the same time, the unchanging scenery makes it challenging to gauge progress, which in turn makes it easier to surrender to fatigue and give yourself permission to walk. Kansas Rails-to-Trails is a “dig deep, find your inner bad-ass, and keep going” type of race.

I’m not typically a fan of out-and-backs, but in such a relaxed, laid-back setting I appreciated being able to see and lend support to my fellow runners. In that sense, KRTE provides the opportunity to be both competitive and sociable at the same time. How many races can say that?

For anyone who likes the sound but not the timing of the Kansas Rails-to-Trails Extravaganza, the Prairie Spirit Trail Ultra held each March is the spring edition of essentially the same race, minus October’s fall colors and the marathon/half marathon distances.

PRODUCTION: Race production was minimal and even more so during a pandemic. Everything about race weekend was easy peasy, from the start and finish lines separated by just a few yards alongside incongruously named Celebration Hall, to the outdoor packet pickup, to the staggered start times with each runner being assigned a starting window of ten minutes. (I was among the last runners to start at 8:15am and did so alone.) Three well-stocked (though widely spaced) aid stations awaited runners at miles 11 (out)/24 (back) and at the turnaround at mile 17.5, along with a couple of other unmanned “stations” which basically consisted of a stash of bottled water. With crew access limited to the three manned stations, carrying your own nutrition may not be a bad idea. And to help you prepare for race day, the organizers provide a detailed booklet which answers most of the questions you’re likely to ask.

Kansas Rails-to-Trails Fall Ultra medal shot at the Old Depot Museum in Ottawa KS
According to TripAdvisor, the Old Depot Museum is the #1 Thing to Do in Ottawa

SWAG: Definitely a highlight of this low-frills event. Aside from the potential to set a personal record on its flat & speedy course, one reason I chose to run the 50K rather than the marathon was the promise of a belt buckle rather than the usual finisher’s medal—a minor detail to be sure, but nonetheless a silver lining on the dark cloud of a brutal pandemic/election year. And with Race Director Carolyn being kind enough to provide its own ribbon, the buckle now hangs proudly alongside the other medals on my 50 States Wall o’ Fame. With temperatures in the 30s and my brain awash in post-PR endorphins, I also had no qualms about buying a charcoal-and-green KRTE hoodie to match the standard short sleeve race tee. Both have turned out to be very comfy, even if I do live in Los Angeles where a heavy sweatshirt isn’t the savviest consumer purchase.

Updated 50 States Map:

Mike Sohaskey's 50 States map on RaceRaves as of Oct 2020

RaceRaves rating:

FINAL STATS:
Oct 24, 2020 (start time 8:15 am)
31.12 miles in Ottawa, Kansas (state 31 of 50)
Finish time & pace: 5:01:07 (first time running the Kansas Rails-to-Trails Extravaganza), 9:41/mile
Finish place: 19 overall, 6/15 in M 40-49 age group
Number of finishers: 104 (54 men, 50 women)
Race weather: cloudy & cold (37°F) at the start and finish
Elevation change (Garmin Connect): 320 ft gain, 325 ft loss
Elevation min, max: 899 ft, 1,027 ft

And I ran, I ran so far away.
– Flock of Seagulls (1982)

Little Rock's Broadway Bridge – in the morning, afternoon and evening
Saying good morning, good afternoon and good night to the Broadway Bridge

Mirror, mirror, on the wall, whose medal is the largest of them all?

This wasn’t quite my approach to choosing my first and (as it turns out) only marathon of 2020… but then again, if I could earn just one marathon medal for the year, why not make it the largest?

But let me take a step back…

As February 2020 drew to a close, life teetered on the brink of normalcy. News of a global outbreak caused by a novel coronavirus originating in Wuhan, China spread almost as rapidly as the pathogen itself. As Katie and I touched down at Bill and Hillary Clinton National Airport in Little Rock on Thursday, February 27, some 60 coronavirus cases had been reported in the United States. One day earlier, the Vice President had been appointed to lead the Coronavirus Task Force, nearly two months after the administration had first learned of the virus and one day after the CDC had reported that coronavirus disease 2019, or COVID-19, was approaching pandemic status. Given the administration’s own lethargic response to this new public health threat, clearly the rest of us had nothing to fear but fear itself… right?

As we had in Tulsa, Katie and I arrived well in advance of marathon weekend for good reason. After working with them to promote their 2020 event to our enthusiastic RaceRaves audience, the Chicks in Charge (CICs) of the Little Rock Marathon, co-directors Geneva Lamm and Gina Pharis, had graciously invited us to join them for their pre-race health & fitness expo Friday and Saturday. Having enjoyed our previous visit to Arkansas’ capital city for the Jacob Wells 3 Bridges Marathon, and having not yet had the chance to run one of the nation’s most popular marathons, we were quick to Jump at the chance to immerse ourselves in race weekend and share our passion with as many fellow runners as possible.

Little Rock Marathon race directors, Geneva Lamm & Gina Pharis – the Chicks in Charge
The Chicks In Charge get their Saturday party started (photo: Little Rock Marathon)

And so it was that on Friday morning we found ourselves in a happily familiar place, manning our RaceRaves booth at the two-day expo in the Statehouse Convention Center. There we were surrounded by nostalgic reminders, musical and otherwise, of the weekend’s “Totally Awesome” ‘80s theme. (A key part of Little Rock race weekend is the theme, which changes annually and which the CICs clearly enjoy bringing to life, starting with zany “theme reveal” videos such as this one for the 2020 event. A year earlier, the theme of “A Race Odyssey” had been downright prescient as hardy runners endured icy rain & snow on race day.) As you may sense from this recap, as a child of the ’80s I was happy to embrace the theme and Roll With It.

Although we’d be joined by fewer familiar faces than in Tulsa, we’d still meet plenty of cool new running friends in Little Rock, among them our next-door expo neighbor Amy, owner of Gypsy Runner. As the name of her company suggests, Amy and her husband travel the country running marathons and working a ton of race expos where they sell colorful, smartly designed women’s running apparel. And we met Tatum, who crackled with a frenetic energy as she spoke of wanting to run seemingly every race on the planet, her apparent Obsession counterbalanced by her stoic, military husband.

Katie all dressed up and 3 miles to go

Saturday began with a role reversal, as I enjoyed playing the noisy spectator cheering Katie in the home stretch of the Little Rock 5K, its hilly loop course leading runners past the nearby William J. Clinton Presidential Library and Museum. That left me ample time for my own short shakeout run through nearby neighborhoods before we headed back to our booth for day two of the expo.

As on Friday, we spent the day on our feet talking to runners and washing/sanitizing our hands regularly to minimize the chance of contracting a virus we all still knew very little about. What we did know was that one of the world’s most prestigious marathons, scheduled for that same weekend in Tokyo, had already canceled its open (that is, non-elite) race, which annually hosts upwards of 35,000 runners.

Though the novel coronavirus was just starting to make its presence felt here in the U.S., Tokyo was the canary in the coal mine and an ominous sign of things to come. While the collective mindset inside the Statehouse Convention Center could best be described as pre-emptively cautious (no runner wants to get sick before a race, after all) with heavy-duty water coolers set up in lieu of the communal water fountains, this American life rolled on. Later that morning, in fact, expo-goers gathered round to watch the U.S. Olympic Marathon Trials live from Atlanta, where Galen Rupp and Aliphine Tuliamuk won the top spots on the men’s and women’s teams, respectively.

That evening, after an excellent pre-race carbo-loading session at Raduno Brick Oven & Barroom, we learned that the first U.S. death attributed to COVID-19 had been reported in Washington State. (The date of the first COVID-19 casualty would later be revised to February 6.) And less than a month later, the International Olympic Committee would announce that the 2020 Summer Olympic Games—also scheduled to be held in Tokyo—had been postponed for the first time since World War II.

U.S. and Arkansas flags


Here I Go Again
Sunday morning arrived with partly cloudy skies, temperatures in the high 50s, and rain in the forecast for late afternoon. In other words, ideal running weather. We’d lucked out, no doubt about it. I couldn’t help but feel this was Mother Nature saying “my bad” for the previous year’s ice storm.

Arkansas wouldn’t count as a new state for me, since I’d already run the Jacob Wells 3 Bridges Marathon in late 2018. Little Rock was simply a golden opportunity to run a race that had intrigued me for The Longest Time, even if I’d not been immediately sold on The Promise of its oversized medals.

At any rate, I had low expectations for my own performance in my first marathon of the year. I’d taken three weeks off in January to rest an injured heel and had run only one tune-up race at the Surf City Half Marathon a month earlier. There I’d maintained a leisurely pace alongside my brother Chuck, who was himself recovering from meniscus surgery. Add to that the 18 hours over two days I’d just spent on my feet at the expo, and my chances of Runnin’ Down a Dream on this Sunday were admittedly low. Even a four-hour finish felt like a stretch, but What You Need on race day is a realistic goal to chase and four hours seemed like my best bet.

Mike Sohaskey & Katie Ho at 2020 Little Rock Marathon

Toward that end, I lined up in the not-too-crowded, not-too-sparse start corral alongside the four-hour pace group to give myself at least a fighting chance at my goal. I’d rather Push It a bit too hard and run out of steam early than start too slow and find myself desperately trying to make up time late in the race. Neither is a good look of course, but every marathon is a beast, and an awful lot can happen over the course of 26.2 miles.

Little Rock’s 26.2 miles started with an immediate ascent on a one-mile loop of the neighborhood, followed by a brief downhill respite as we approached the Broadway Bridge. Ironically, Broadway hadn’t been one of the three bridges I’d crossed during my previous marathon in the city, so already I felt like I was expanding my horizons and enjoying the full Little Rock experience.

Crossing the Broadway Bridge into North Little Rock, mile 2 of Little Rock Marathon
Across the Broadway Bridge into North Little Rock, mile 2

Across the Arkansas River we ran, the bridge’s twin-arch superstructure soaring overhead against an unbroken ceiling of dense gray cloud cover. Reaching the quaint town of North Little Rock, we circled its attractive neighborhoods, passing cute homes and cute shops and plenty of red brick. As we cruised past the Diamond Bear Brewing Company—or as the bright blue letters on the side of the building announced it, “BEER OF ARKANSAS”—I thought, This would have made a great aid station for the home stretch. Clearly more than three months later, I still had Route 66 on the brain.

Looping back south and then west along Riverfront Drive, we enjoyed a ground-level view of the Broadway Bridge’s brilliant white arches above us. My lasting memory of North Little Rock would be our final right turn past nostalgic Dickey–Stephens Park, home of baseball’s Arkansas Travelers, Double-A affiliate of the Seattle Mariners. With its red-brick gable entrance and green awnings, the park—visible from our hotel room across the river—is a charming throwback that looks like it belongs in The Natural or A League of Their Own.

I was feeling decidedly ok as we retraced our steps across the Broadway Bridge. This certainly wasn’t the worst I’d ever felt on race day, and at this point that was good enough for me. Because for the first six miles my focus lay primarily with my convalescing right heel, which along with my right glute was a bit sore here to start. Normally this would have been enough to occupy my mind, but compounding the problem was my lack of marathon-specific training due to that same gimpy heel. And that, in turn, had me wondering if or (more likely) when in the next 3+ hours my body would suddenly betray me and {SPLAT} right into that physiological wall that marathoners know all too well.

For now, though, all I could do was run.

Spotting Mike Sohaskey early on at the Little Rock Marathon

I felt about five drops of rain hit my skin. Uh oh, I thought, Here Comes the Rain Again. And then—nothing. Unlike the freezing rain and snow that left an indelible mark on 2019, those five drops would be the extent of our precipitation for the day.

Back in Little Rock, we passed an outdoor Soul Cycle class on stationary bikes—a cool touch I thought, despite one of the female cyclists holding up an ill-conceived sign that read, “Who said long and hard was such a bad thing?” Immediately the Michael Scott voice in my head wanted to blurt out, “That’s what she said!” Luckily my last name isn’t Scott, and so in my head it stayed.

Aside from two out-and-back stretches, most of the marathon course would consist of pleasant neighborhoods with frequent cheer support. While I don’t recall seeing (or hearing) a ton of spectators à la Boston or Tokyo, I did notice decent-sized crowds throughout the morning. And a few dedicated spectators showed up at several spots along the course, including one fellow who was recognizable at a glance by his prosthetic leg.

Soon after passing the Clinton Presidential Library & Museum we embarked on the first of those out-and-backs, a sparse and less than scenic two-mile stretch that started industrial but soon transitioned to wide-open, fenced-off fields as we approached Bill and Hillary Clinton National Airport. This was East Little Rock, but no matter the neighborhood there was no mistaking—this was Bubba’s town.

Mike Sohaskey at the Bill & Hillary Clinton National Airport in mile 7 of the Little Rock Marathon
Turnaround time at Bill & Hillary Clinton National Airport, mile 7

Reaching the airport, we U-turned past a small-scale replica of a jet in flight and headed back the way we’d come. Here I surprised myself by inadvertently catching the 3:55 (projected finish time 3 hours, 55 minutes) pace group. Figuring what the heck, I decided to hang with them for as long as the pace felt comfortable.

Glancing across at the steady stream of oncoming runners headed toward the airport, I called out to fellow traveling runner Jim Diego, who’s not only completed a marathon in all 50 states but who has sung the national anthem in all 50 states as well. This was the first of two occasions I’d see Jim, both on out-and-backs, as his pastel ‘80s jazzercise outfit with curly black wig made him easy to spot even in a crowd of colorfully clad runners, many of them sporting ‘80s apparel of their own.

Leading the 3:55 pace group was a sinewy, tough-looking woman who seemed to know all her fellow pacers and half the spectators. She’d Shout out to someone coming in the other direction, then excitedly wave at a bystander and weave over to the side of the road for a high-five. Wow, I thought, this must be an awfully comfortable pace for her, otherwise that’s a lot of energy to waste over 26.2 miles. But she was the one holding the pace sign, and so naturally I assumed she knew what she was doing.

Turns out that was wishful thinking, as time would tell.

Mike Sohaskey cruising past MacArthur Park, mile 10 of the Little Rock Marathon
Cruising past MacArthur Park, mile 10

Nothin’ but a Good Time
As the miles mounted my heel pain faded, my Legs loosened up, and I started to feel almost… good. Then again, what reasonably trained runner doesn’t feel good in the first half of a marathon? It wasn’t until the second half that I expected my legs to turn to stone like victims of Medusa’s gaze.

Someone after the race said there’d been folks offering communion along the course. And while that may be true, being a California heathen it’s possible I mistook the moment for a high-end aid station. (I’m guessing more than a few takers were tempted by the wine.)

What the context was I have no idea, but somewhere in the first half I glanced my favorite sign of the day hanging from a gate:

What do you do when you’re attacked by a gang of carnies?
Go for the juggler!

Governor Asa Hutchinson greeting runners with a smile and fist bump at mile 11 of the Little Rock Marathon
Governor Asa Hutchinson greets runners with a smile and a fist bump, mile 11

In mile 11 we passed the Arkansas Governor’s Mansion, where Governor Asa Hutchinson himself stood outside the front gates fist-bumping runners as we passed. Regardless of your political views—and I’m sure the governor and I would disagree on plenty—this was a uniquely cool and memorable moment. And I’m confident Little Rock will be the first and only time I ever fist-bump a governor on a marathon course. I’ve run the California International Marathon twice now, a race that finishes at the State Capitol in Sacramento, and I’ve yet to see the governor rubbing elbows with the (literally) unwashed masses. So props to Governor Hutchinson for taking the time to say Hello and celebrate a bunch of sweaty, appreciative runners.

As usual, Katie was everywhere on race day. At times I almost felt as though I were running on an outdoor treadmill (minus the unchanging scenery) because every time I looked up, there she was. Eventually I’d lose track of how many times I’d seen her, since counting past three or four can be a challenge in the later miles of a marathon. (Note to potential spectators: she found the marathon course easy to navigate.)

Diverging briefly from the half marathoners in mile 12, we passed historic Central High School, where in 1957 nine black students—known collectively as the Little Rock Nine—were denied access to the school by the Arkansas National Guard and faced an angry mob of over 1,000 white protestors. Notably, this took place three years after the Supreme Court ruling in Brown v. Board of Education that segregation in public school was unconstitutional. And though the battle for racial justice clearly continues to this day, this particular standoff would end when President Eisenhower federalized the Arkansas National Guard and ordered the US Army’s 101st Airborne Division to escort the students into the school.

Mike Sohaskey in front of historic Central High School at mile 12 of the Little Rock Marathon
Historic Little Rock Central High School, mile 12

I reached the midway point in just under one hour 55 minutes; assuming a target finish time of less than four hours, this left me a nice cushion of nearly ten minutes for the second half. And I sensed I’d need all the cushion I could get.

We rejoined the half marathoners briefly on S Chester St before turning west again en route to the State Capitol. This was the only place along the course where I’d see a “Photographer ahead” sign, and sure enough the result was a great shot (as shots of me running go) with the Capitol dome framed in the background. Shout-out to the Chicks in Charge, whose route does a terrific job of hitting the city highlights.

Leaving the Capitol behind we started a steady 1.5-mile climb, the longest of the day. When asked whether their course is hilly, the CICs typically respond matter-of-factly: “What hills? It depends on your perspective. There are some bumps in the road, but life is full of bumps in the road.”

Still having a capital time, mile 14 (© RBS PICS)

Running Up That Hill led us past one of my course highlights. Glancing to my right as we huffed and puffed our way up mile 16, I glimpsed the scoreboard that announced the “Arkansas School for the Deaf Leopards,” with matching sharp-toothed leopard heads facing off on either side of the scoreboard. You read that right—the mascot for the Arkansas School for the Deaf is… the leopard. What could be more perfect for an ‘80s-themed marathon??

But before anyone starts slinging accusations of trademark infringement, I should say the school adopted the leopard mascot well before the world was introduced to the British rock band that’s now enshrined in the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame. And in a fantastically meta moment that won the Interwebz, several members of the school got to meet Def Leppard in person and take a Photograph when the band performed in Little Rock in May 2016. How’s that for a happy ending?

The school sits adjacent to the Arkansas School for the Blind and Visually Impaired, and so together the two campuses provided much-needed inspiration for the toughest section of the course.

After mile 16, the course leveled out a bit before peaking near mile 17.5. What followed was a fast downhill alongside Allsopp Park that—nonintuitive as it may sound—quickly made me appreciate the gradual ascent that preceded it. Because nothing wakes up the quads quite like a steep downhill grade late in a marathon.

With that hammering of the quads, I could feel my legs growing heavier as we reached the most mentally punishing stretch of the day, the 5-mile out-and-back on Riverfront Drive (out) and the Arkansas River Trail (back). Struggling to maintain pace, I envisioned my body as an hourglass emptying over the course of 26.2 miles, gradually filling my legs with sand—not exactly the winning imagery I needed to keep me moving forward.

Mike Sohaskey all smiles in Allsopp Park, mile 18 of the Little Rock Marathon
All smiles in Allsopp Park, mile 18

Eye of the Tiger
Normally, I imagined, this would have been a verdant stretch of tree-lined road; now, though, in late winter it resembled more the setting for The Blair Witch Project, a seemingly endless stretch of largely leafless trees to our left and browned-out Rebsamen Park Golf Course to our right. No water was visible, though I knew the Arkansas River lay just beyond the golf course. So instead I focused on the task at hand and putting one foot in front of the other, knowing I’d need whatever fortitude I had left to avoid surrendering to fatigue.

Nearing mile 20, I heard someone Call Me from behind and glanced over my shoulder to see (who else?) Katie running toward me from about 30 yards away on the intersecting road, the last available drop-off point before I entered the park. My first impulse was to wave her off—selfish as it sounds, did I really have a Desire to stop and wait for her to catch up, knowing any further slowdown might mean I could Kiss four hours goodbye? My brain responded with a resounding YES—I wanted my bottle of Maurten sports drink for fuel and, more importantly, the rest of my 5-hour Energy from earlier in the morning. And a brief pause would do me good.

Having raced to catch me in street clothes and jacket, poor Katie struggled to catch her breath as I downed the 5-hour Energy, took possession of the bottle of Maurten, and rejoined the flow of foot traffic on Riverfront Drive.

Mike Sohaskey on the Arkansas River Trail, mile 24 of the Little Rock Marathon
Heading home along the Arkansas River Trail, mile 24

As I’d hoped it would, the 5-hour Energy had an immediate impact; I could feel both mind and body perk up, and each stride became a bit less labored. Meanwhile I sipped on the Maurten, at least until I dropped the top of the bottle a mile later and ended up sloshing most of the viscous liquid on myself, practically lacquering my Garmin in the process.

Luckily I could tell my body didn’t need the nutrition for the home stretch, and so I tossed the bottle at the mile 22 turnaround and focused instead on staying strong as we headed toward Home Sweet Home. It would be close, no doubt about it, but now that I’d worked so diligently to put myself in position for a surprising sub-4 finish, I needed to prove to myself I could seal the deal.

Heading back the way we’d come on the Arkansas River Trail, I shared a few words of encouragement with a fellow in Puerto Rico flag shorts. The Look on his face spoke of Physical exhaustion and for good reason, as he told me he’d paced the 4:10 group the day before at the Mississippi Blues Marathon in Jackson, a five-hour Drive from Little Rock. But he was appreciative of the support and still looked to be in good spirits, all things considered. Because when it comes to the marathon, nothing Hurts So Good.

Running Alone alongside the golf course I caught up to Tatum, who even in mile 23 of a marathon still emanated the same agitated energy we’d experienced at the expo two days earlier. In a frustrated tone she talked about her husband (who was running the half marathon) slowing her down in the first half. Moments later the 4:00 pacer passed us running by himself, which if you’re chasing a four-hour finish late in a marathon can feel like a shot to the solar plexus.

Tatum would have none of it. “Are you fucking KIDDING me?!” she demanded in exasperation. “I’m ahead of schedule,” he responded, which I’d sensed to be true with 2+ miles still to go. Then again, why was he running so far ahead of schedule when his sole responsibility was to maintain a reliable four-hour pace? Slowing down I could imagine as fatigue set in, but speeding up?

"Testament: The Little Rock Nine Monument" at the Little Rock State Capitol
“Testament: The Little Rock Nine Monument” at the State Capitol

Soon after and just before the “first of the last uphills,” we passed my former Chief Motivating Officer, the 3:55 pacer with whom I’d run for roughly 11 miles. After all her earlier élan, she was now walking by herself, the 3:55 sign dangling from her hand. So far I was less than impressed by the pacing here today, though passing her did provide a momentary surge of adrenaline.

I’d known there’d be one last hill in mile 25, and as it turns out I was half right—there were actually two, neither of which were as bad as expected. Somewhere in the past three miles, in what’s normally the most brutal stretch of a marathon, I’d found my 6th or 7th wind. Now I was feeling relatively strong and eagerly anticipating The Final Countdown as our long but gratifying weekend in Little Rock neared its own finish line.

The L’Oreal Lipstick Stop at mile 26 (a clever diversion for runners who want to look great for their finish-line photos) was more understated than expected and could have benefited from some advance warning. Unfortunately I couldn’t spare the time 💋, but I felt good—check that, great—as I flew by the beautification station and along the final few undulations. Seeing Katie I clapped my hands and held up four fingers—chasing four hours had been a Thriller, but in the end I’d Beat It. Then I cruised through the familiar Marriott tunnel and heard my name announ—

Seeing a blur of movement in my peripheral vision, I glanced to my right to see Tatum go sprinting by like a Maniac with steely focus etched on her face, before crossing Down Under the colorful ‘80s finish arch just ahead of my official time of 3:58:08. I couldn’t imagine a more appropriate finish. And finally, I could Relax.

Mike Sohaskey in the final homestretch of the Little Rock Marathon
Even after 26.1 miles, my Katie radar remains as sharp as ever

I’m Still Standing
What. A. Day. Beneath overcast skies, I was Walking on Sunshine as I passed a bell in the finish chute begging to be rung, though for what reason I couldn’t be sure: personal best? Boston Qualifying time? First time running Little Rock? Or maybe all of the above.

My attention quickly turned to the familiar face that greeted me as I exited the finish chute, and I thanked/congratulated Geneva (one of the Chicks In Charge) on an Epic, Totally Awesome race day. Then I moseyed ahead into the convention center ballroom where post-race activities awaited, pausing on the way to gratefully accept the spoils of a jog well run—the pride & joy of the Little Rock Marathon.

The ginormous, glittery finisher’s medal was even more ginormous and glittery than I’d envisioned, and more beautiful too in a garishly ‘80s sort of way. Though I’m a bit mortified to admit it after 40+ marathons (and I blame the finish-line endorphins), a child-like giddiness washed over me, manifested by an even-goofier-than-normal grin at having finally earned the nation’s largest, blingiest medal. I know some runners complain the medal is too big, too heavy, too showy, too this, too that, too much. I get it, and at one time I might’ve been one of them. But as I sit here typing and occasionally glancing up to see my Little Rock Marathon medal playing remarkably well with the other medals on my wall, I Can’t Fight This Feeling and now count myself squarely among the believers.

"I'm the reason mommy runs" t-shirt
Pretty in pink—as spectators go, she stole the show

A word of advice to prospective Little Rock runners deciding between the full and half marathon: if you’re able to train your body to run 26.2 miles, then Whip It into shape and do it. The marathon course includes Central High School and the State Capitol, and while those last 13.1 miles don’t come easy, you’ll know you made the right decision when it comes time to claim your heavy medal, which is twice the size of the (still impressive) half marathon medal. Because the only thing worse than FOMO is the actual MO.

With my legs and core muscles already wiped out from my morning tour of the city, every step taken with that medal hanging around my neck was a full-body workout. I kept reminding myself to lift with my legs, not with my back as I wound my way through the indoor finisher’s area where chocolate milk, soft drinks, bananas and pizza awaited us, the latter of which I avoided due in part to COVID-19 concerns. Our finisher status also afforded us two free Michelob Ultras, though few people seemed to be taking advantage of that particular perk.

Here I traded “How’d it go?” updates with our expo neighbor Amy from Gypsy Runner, who’d apparently finished close behind me. And I had the chance to congratulate my friend in the Puerto Rico flag shorts, who after pacing 4:10 the day before had finished the second of his back-to-back marathons in a strikingly consistent 4:07. Two days, two marathons. I could empathize.

Once through the line Katie greeted me with Open Arms—we hadn’t seen each other in 15 minutes, after all. Then I settled into a chair in the crowded ballroom to take a load off (i.e. remove the medal) and gather my wits as a big-screen TV broadcast live footage from the finish line. After running 26.2 miles, to sit and do absolutely nothing feels Just Like Heaven. As I sat unwilling to move, volunteers made the rounds offering hot dogs and breakfast burritos wrapped in foil. It was a comfortable, climate-controlled post-race venue. And it wasn’t long before I felt Closer to Fine.

Mike Sohaskey and Bart Yasso at the finish line of the Little Rock Marathon
Big Time: Holding down the finish line with the legendary Bart Yasso

After a long and blissful rest, I pulled myself to my feet and we circled back outside to the finish line. There with microphone in hand, long-time running icon Bart Yasso was welcoming and encouraging the last few finishers across the line. Affectionately dubbed the Mayor of Running, Bart is a wonderful guy and one of the sport’s greatest ambassadors, even in “retirement.” And if Little Rock is any indication, he still brings plenty of enthusiasm to every race he announces.

Back upstairs in our room a short time later, I asked the question that needed no answer:

Mirror, mirror, on the wall, whose medal is the largest of them all?

Our nostalgic weekend in Little Rock left me with a fairy-tale feeling, an afterglow that would prove short-lived with the awful realization that where 2020 was concerned, there’d be no happily ever after. The next weekend we volunteered at our hometown Los Angeles Marathon, where 20,000+ finishers unknowingly bid farewell to normalcy as they crossed the last urban finish line of the year. Days later, races across the U.S. began to cancel en masse as the World Health Organization declared COVID-19 a pandemic, one which as I write has claimed more than 540,000 American lives. And finally, one year later, thanks to science many of us are finally seeing a light at the end of the tunnel… while anxiously hoping it’s not just another Crazy Train headed our way.

But life is a much bigger story than I came here to tell. Aside from leaving Arkansas with painfully chapped hands thanks to all the washing, Little Rock was a Straight Up success and as Totally Awesome as advertised. And that’s in large part because the CICs recognize a fundamental truth.

No matter what distance they run, guys and Girls Just Want to Have Fun.

Mike Sohaskey & Katie Ho finish line selfie, proudly showing off our Little Rock Marathon medals

BOTTOM LINE: If I were to sum up a terrific Little Rock weekend in one pithy statement, I’d say the medal is large and the Chicks are In Charge. And if I could earn only one non-virtual marathon medal for all of 2020 (which unexpectedly turned out to be the case), I’m glad I earned it in Little Rock. Arkansas’ capital city may be renowned among marathoners for its intimidatingly large finisher’s medal, but while every race does need something to hang its hat on, the truth is that Little Rock’s appeal goes well beyond the bling.

I wrote a bit about the city itself in my recap of the Jacob Wells 3 Bridges Marathon, but one of the coolest things about Little Rock is that unlike 3 Bridges, which runs mainly along the tree-lined Arkansas River Trail, the city’s namesake marathon treats its runners to a living, breathing history lesson. The course passes Little Rock Central High School (which in 1957 became the epicenter in the battle for forced desegregation), the State Capitol, the Clinton Presidential Library and Museum, the governor’s mansion, and even the Arkansas School for the Deaf with its leopard mascot (hence the deaf leopards, which totally fit with the weekend’s ‘80s theme). As urban marathon courses go, Little Rock is high on the list and particularly among mid-size cities. I’m even willing to forgive the two ho-hum out-and-backs from miles 6–8 and 19–24, since finding 26.2 miles of runnable roads typically requires some ingenuity.

Oh, and a word of advice for anyone deciding between the full and half marathon in Little Rock: if you have the training to run either, this is a no-brainer. Only the 26.2-mile course passes Central High School and the State Capitol… and though you may question the wisdom of your decision in the closing miles, all skepticism will fade once you cross the finish line and get your mitts on the nation’s largest and blingiest medal. Because the only thing worse than FOMO is the actual MO.

A year later, I admit our Route 66 and Little Rock weekends—separated by just over three months—tend to blend together, forming a memorable mid-size marathon smoothie in my brain. Then again, that’s a compliment to both since each features a festive atmosphere, top-notch organization & competence on the part of the race staff, a comfortable post-race gathering venue, great swag, and a lively Southern host city with its own Hurts Donut shop. And even though Little Rock is a city of bridges, the one brief section of the Route 66 marathon course that actually runs on Route 66 also happens to cross a bridge. So it’s understandable I might mix and match the two races in my head at times (luckily I’m a meticulous note-taker). My recommendation would be that you visit both cities and run each race for yourself to see how they compare In Your Eyes. The truth is you can’t go wrong with either, and I’d argue that both will quickly earn Your Love.

As you may expect in Downtown Little Rock there’s no shortage of lodging options, chief among them the uber-convenient Little Rock Marriott, which borders the start & finish line and which shares a building with the Statehouse Convention Center, home to the pre-race expo.

Mike Sohaskey in front of Arkansas painting

PRODUCTION: Event Directors Geneva Lamm & Gina Pharis (aka the Chicks In Charge, or CICs) and their team know how to throw a 26.2-mile party and have a fabulous time doing it. Case in point their carefully crafted, always creative event theme (2020’s was “Totally Awesome” ‘80s) which changes annually but which never disappoints, and which the CICs clearly put their heart & soul into bringing to life. Seeing the two of them dancing atop the riser alongside the start line on race day, silhouetted against the rising sun with megaphone in hand, felt like the perfect start to my first and (as it turns out) only marathon of the year. And the two deserved to enjoy the fruits of their year-long labor, as race weekend itself was organizationally flawless, from the high-energy expo to the historic course (see above) to the comfortable post-race celebration inside the Little Rock Marriott where volunteers strolled the room offering exhausted runners hot dogs and breakfast burritos. The indoor venue in particular was a strong finishing touch, since Little Rock weather in early March tends to be less than totally awesome.

2020 Little Rock Marathon medal in front of State Capitol

SWAG: Ask any traveling runner about Little Rock, and the first thing you’re likely to hear about is the finisher’s medal. It’s unabashedly ginormous and hefty with plenty of sparkle, and you can expect a solid core workout if you plan to showcase it proudly around your neck. (Given this year’s “Alice in Wonderland” theme, I hope the CICs model the medal after the White Rabbit’s pocket watch so the post-race gathering resembles a Flavor Flav fan convention.) Each year on the first weekend of March, the Little Rock medal elicits an outpouring of oohs and aahs on social media from amazed/envious/horrified commenters. And I heard several runners admit they opted to run the full marathon rather than the half based simply on the size of the medal, training be damned—because whether you race to collect shiny hardware or do it strictly for the purity of competition, few things trigger such inexplicable FOMO as the Little Rock Marathon medal. Don’t ever let a runner tell you size doesn’t matter.

Participants also received a short-sleeve race tee that fits nicely and… wait, did I mention the medal?

RaceRaves rating:

FINAL STATS:
Mar 1, 2020 (start time 8:00 am)
26.41 miles in Little Rock, Arkansas
Finish time & pace: 3:58:08 (first time running the Little Rock Marathon), 9:01/mile
Finish place: 184 overall, 20/112 in M 45-49 age group
Number of finishers: 1,389 (738 men, 651 women)
Race weather: partly cloudy & cool (57°F) at the start, cloudy & cool at the finish
Elevation change (Garmin Connect): 637 ft gain, 641 ft loss
Elevation min, max: 230 ft, 488 ft

Heroes come and go, but legends are forever.
– Kobe Bryant

Kobe & Gianna celebrate the Lakers’ 2009 championship (Use the slider to compare photo & mural)

On January 26, 2020, a helicopter carrying NBA Hall of Famer Kobe Bryant, his daughter Gianna and seven others crashed into a hillside in Calabasas, CA, killing everyone aboard. The tragic news sent my hometown of Los Angeles reeling and left the world at large in a state of denial and disbelief. A year later, the shock of Kobe’s sudden passing at age 41 still feels all too surreal at a time when surreal has quickly become the norm.

Individuals across the globe paid tribute to Kobe and Gianna in the traumatic aftermath of their death; as a lifelong basketball (albeit Boston Celtics) fan, I did so myself here on the blog. Among the most visible and heartfelt of all the Kobe tributes, though, have been those we see while driving around Los Angeles, where Kobe played his entire 20-year NBA career with the Lakers and where he became the only player in NBA history to have two jersey numbers (8 and 24) retired by the same team.

On walls across LA and surrounding cities, creative and colorful murals celebrating Bryant’s life and career have sprung up like flowers in the spring. After noticing one or two of these murals downtown during Los Angeles Marathon weekend last March, and as a huge fan of urban street art, I made it my mission to visit as many as possible. Which, as it turns out, is no insignificant undertaking. Because despite my own personal PTSD and my keen awareness that Kobe was SoCal’s favorite son and a global icon, still I underestimated the collective emotional impact of his death.

According to KobeMural.com (the definitive online guide to Kobe Bryant murals), there are currently 325 tribute murals in the U.S.—247 in Southern California alone—plus 112 others in 30+ countries. This number is constantly changing as new murals are added and old murals are replaced. Many of these are located on busy streets like Hollywood Blvd, Melrose Ave and Pico Blvd, and if there has been a silver lining to the past ten months, it’s the opportunity this pandemic has afforded us to appreciate these murals sans LA’s notorious traffic. Many of the murals, like Kobe’s legacy, are (much) larger than life, and I’ve taken more than a few photos now while standing in the middle lanes of a normally bustling thoroughfare—the kind of move that, under normal circumstances, would swiftly remove me from the gene pool.

Given Kobe’s unique combination of single-minded focus, professional success, global popularity, and two-decade tenure with Hollywood’s team, it’s difficult to imagine another pro athlete whose untimely death would inspire such a heartfelt outpouring of grief, love and reverence. As @banditgraffiti (one of the artists featured below) notes, “In my years being in Los Angeles, I’ve never witnessed so much unity and respect from the community.” Granted I’ve only lived here for eight years, but I’d have to agree.

Here I share my personal top 50 Kobe Bryant tribute murals from the nearly 120 we’ve visited to date; click on any mural to view a higher-resolution image. I’d recommend KobeMural.com to see hundreds more—some wildly impressive—from around the world. These murals celebrate not only Kobe, Gigi and the seven others aboard that helicopter who left us too soon, but likewise the incredibly talented artists and luminaries who live and work here in the City of Angels. They’re all shining examples of why Los Angeles is the most creative city in the world and why I love LA.

Kobe Bryant may be gone… but long live Kobe Bryant.

(Got a favorite mural of your own? I’d love to hear from you in the comments below!)



Murals of Kobe Alone

This group of murals focuses the spotlight on the man himself.

A tribute to Kobe’s otherworldly talent as 5x NBA champion and Oscar-winning producer
100 N La Brea Ave, Los Angeles, CA
Artist: @leviponce


The Japanese characters beneath “Little Tokyo” translate to “Los Angeles,” and the five purple flowers around Kobe’s head represent his five NBA titles
236 S Los Angeles St (inside), Los Angeles, CA
Artist: @sloe_motions


Kobe’s metamorphosis from High School All-American to 2x U.S. Olympic gold medalist to NBA Hall of Famer
408 Broadway, Santa Monica, CA
Artist: @gz.jr


Kobe celebrates one of his five NBA championships near the border of Beverly Hills
470 N Doheny Dr, Los Angeles, CA
Artist: @bournrich


Kobe scored 60 points in his final NBA game, then concluded his farewell speech with “Mamba out”
490 N Beverly Dr, Beverly Hills, CA
Artist: @jgoldcrown


An iconic pose reproduced on several Kobe tribute murals
501 W Arbor Vitae St, Inglewood, CA
Artist: @jacrispy_signcompany


This lifelike masterpiece celebrates Kobe’s fifth and final NBA championship in 2010
Grand Central Market, Los Angeles, CA
Artist: @never1959


A pensive 18-time NBA All-Star watches over East LA
1060 N Fickett St, Los Angeles, CA
Artist: @velaart


I can’t hear you, Los Angeles!
1626 S Hill St, Los Angeles, CA
Artist: @artchemists


The man, the Mamba, and five championship rings
2200 East Cesar E Chavez Avenue, Los Angeles, CA
Artist: @velaart


Kobe and his five Larry O’Brien NBA Championship Trophies
2429 W Jefferson Blvd, Los Angeles, CA
Artist: @sloe_motions


Sometimes the simplest statements say the most
2615 Wilshire Blvd, Santa Monica, CA
Artist: @the_rev_carl


Kobe shows off his championship ring (Note the “Mambacita 2” tribute to Gianna in starry-sky styling)
5220 Valley Blvd, Los Angeles, CA
Artist: @melanymd


“Forever Kobe” turns heads in Mid-City
5414 W Pico Blvd, Los Angeles, CA
Artist: @toonsone44


“Mamba Forever”: Kobe basks in the spotlight of his fifth and final NBA championship in 2010
6454 Lankershim Blvd, North Hollywood, CA
Artist: @banditgraffiti


Look closely: An iconic above-the-rim moment immortalized in 413 triangles
7725 Melrose Ave, Los Angeles, CA
Artist: @jc.ro


One of many amazing Kobe tributes from @gz.jr, the man was 🔥 in 2020
7753 Melrose Ave, Los Angeles, CA
Artist: @gz.jr


Located outside Black-owned Sorella Boutique, this mural remained untouched during the protests that followed George Floyd’s death
7829 Melrose Ave, Los Angeles, CA
Artist: @paintedprophet


LAgends Never Die”
8495 Sunset Blvd, West Hollywood, CA
Artist: @muckrock


This mural evokes Michael Jordan’s iconic Nike “Wings” photo, with an infinity symbol in place of Kobe’s #8
11705 Ventura Blvd, Studio City, CA
Artist: @gabegault


Another photorealistic creation from Jonas Never, located near Staples Center
1336 Lebanon St, Los Angeles, CA (across from LA Convention Center)
Artist: @never1959



Murals of Kobe & Gianna

These murals celebrate Kobe as #GirlDad with daughter Gigi, who was herself an up-and-coming baller.

Guardians of the City of Angels
400 W Pico Blvd, Los Angeles, CA
Artist: @sloe_motions


A tribute so nice, we had to visit it twice
1251 South La Brea Ave, Los Angeles, CA
Artist: @mrbrainwash


“Heart of a Legend” on Watts Civic Center (Note the distinctive Watts Towers, shown in the top half)
Watts Civic Center (1501 E 103rd St), Los Angeles, CA
Artist: @pequebrown


In memory of Kobe, Gianna and the seven other victims, Orange County
512 W 19th St, Costa Mesa, CA
Artist: @andaluztheartist


“The Mamba Mentality Lives On”
519 S Fairfax Ave, Los Angeles, CA
Artist: @hijackart


Kobe & Gigi sport a version of the “Back 2 Back” jacket he wore (in his pre-Mamba days) after consecutive championships in 2000 and 2001
614 Mateo St, Los Angeles, CA
Artist: @gabegault


“Legends Are Forever”
800 E 4th Pl, Los Angeles, CA
Artist: @royyaldog


Moving Heaven and Earth
1053 S Hill St, Los Angeles, CA
Artist: @enkone


The mandala adds a spiritual dimension to this “Mamba out” mural
1348 Flower St, Los Angeles, CA
Artist: @aiseborn


Kobe Bryant, forever a #GirlDad
1361 S Main St, Los Angeles, CA
Artist: @sloe_motions, @sensaegram


Lost Angels” in Los Angeles
1430 East Cesar E Chavez Ave, Los Angeles, CA
Artist: @samhue_91, @samcamsigns, @seandiaz_tattoo


The rim-as-halo effect makes this mural
1602 Cherry Ave, Long Beach, CA
Artist: @dannyssignslbc


“City of Angels” (though that wing hugging Gigi’s right shoulder is off-putting)
2450 S La Cienega Blvd, Los Angeles, CA
Artist: @artoon_art


The heart of a champion runs in the family
1921 N Highland Ave, Los Angeles, CA
Artist: @alex_ali_gonzalez


My personal favorite #GirlDad mural, despite a tiny “oops”: the year on Kobe’s towel mistakenly ends in “0,” though the scene shows the two celebrating the Lakers’ 2009 championship
2471 Whittier Blvd, Los Angeles, CA
Artist: @downtowndaniel


The silhouette of Kobe (24) & Gigi (2) in their jerseys with backs to the viewer is a common theme
3515 Wilshire Blvd (Koreatown), Los Angeles, CA
Artist: @muckrock


“Rest at the End, Not in the Middle,” a collaboration of three artists
3601 W Garry Ave, Santa Ana, CA
Artists: @mikalataylormade, @tonycncp, @xistheweapon


“You asked for my hustle, I gave you my heart”
5325 W Pico Blvd, Los Angeles, CA
Artist: @1.4.4.0


It’s all here: Kobe’s championship mindset, Kobe & Gigi silhouetted with halos, plus the Black Mamba
5745 Tujunga Ave, North Hollywood, CA
Artist: @nessie_blaze


Note the purple-&-gold outpouring of love & respect from bereaved fans
7753 Melrose Ave, Los Angeles, CA
Artist: @banditgraffiti


“The Dreamer & The Believer”
7751 1/2 Melrose Ave, Los Angeles, CA
Artist: @paintedprophet


Looking to the heavens one last time
11459 Ventura Blvd, Studio City, CA
Artist: @artoon_art



Murals of Kobe & Others

These murals includes familiar faces such as fellow NBA greats as well as rapper, activist and entrepreneur Nipsey Hussle, a fellow Angeleno who was gunned down in South-Central LA in March 2019.

“Bend the Knee” may be my favorite Kobe tribute mural with its portrayal of former teammates and rivals, complemented by the Black Mamba at bottom
5873 W 3rd St, Los Angeles, CA
Artist: @gz.jr


Kobe vs. Michael, a rivalry in triangles… and don’t miss this cool effect
1803 S Western Ave, Los Angeles, CA
Artist: @jc.ro


Trading places: The legendary Vin Scully as Laker, Kobe as Dodger (unfinished)
1124 S Atlantic Blvd, Los Angeles, CA
Artist: @sloe_motions


“Leave a Legacy” celebrates the Lakers’ 2020 title, their 17th; Kobe sits atop the mural with trophy in lap
5522 Venice Blvd, Los Angeles, CA
Artist: @gz.jr, @flaxworx


Kobe and Nipsey Hussle look out on Obama Blvd in South-Central LA
5791 Obama Blvd, Los Angeles, CA
Artist: @jayo_v, @justcreatedit


Lakers legends past & present: Kobe dishes to LeBron on Hollywood Blvd
6544 Hollywood Blvd, Los Angeles, CA
Artist: @artoon_art


Mamba out: Passing the torch on a championship tradition
10864 La Grange Ave, Los Angeles, CA
Artist: @gz.jr, @flaxworx

It winds from Chicago to LA
More than two thousand miles all the way
Get your kicks on Route 66.

“(Get Your Kicks On) Route 66,” Bobby Troup (1946)

Mike Sohaskey in front of Tulsa Route 66 Rising sculpture

Ladies and gents, we have a milestone! (No pun intended, for once.) With this race report, I’ve reached 💯 blog posts—and I hate to imagine how many words—here on Blisters, Cramps & Heaves. And while 100 certainly isn’t a number I ever envisioned when I started 8½ years ago, I daresay I’m enjoying the process at least as much now as I did then—it’s more satisfying than social media and cheaper than therapy. In a world of vanishingly short attention spans I realize this blog is the opposite of Twitter, and I like to think that’s a good thing. Thanks for sticking around and joining me on the journey!

With the all-consuming presidential election finally over and American democracy safe for at least another week, I want to end a dreadful 2020 on an upbeat note by immortalizing my final marathon of 2019 before the calendar flips to 2021 (apologies if that sentence read like something from Back to the Future IV: Spirit of the Marathon). Because as it turns out, if you’re looking to end the racing year on a high note, it’s tough to do better than Tulsa.

Three weeks after the Marshall University Marathon in West Virginia, Katie and I found ourselves in chilly Northeast Oklahoma for what would be my 5th state of the year and my 30th overall at the Williams Route 66 Marathon. Even better, we (meaning RaceRaves) would be joining “Oklahoma’s biggest block party” as an exhibitor at the two-day expo preceding the race, where we’d meet runners from across the state and around the country (Route 66 is one of the more popular marathons in the U.S. and a favorite among 50 Staters). Because nothing says “marathon taper” like being on your feet all day for two straight days! Luckily, I’d very much been looking forward to this weekend. And it wouldn’t disappoint.

With race day on Sunday, Friday and Saturday were spent working for the weekend and walking one of the most enjoyable expos in the country. Complementing its energetic vibe, the Route 66 expo featured plenty of relevant booths without (to quote fellow 50 Stater and expo veteran Evelyn) a lot of “pushy salesmen.”

Though I was eager to get out and explore Tulsa, the expo reminded me why I love talking to runners, who typically are more diverse, more interesting and more sociable than the folks I used to meet at scientific conferences. Manning our booth for two days, we met friends old and new including Tulsa resident, fellow Rice Owl and RaceRaves member John P. We’d first met John at the Fargo Marathon in May before reuniting at the Clarence DeMar Marathon in September, and we’d quickly come to appreciate how an outgoing, good-natured fellow like John had earned himself the tongue-in-cheek moniker of “The Mayor of Tulsa.”

Mike Sohaskey and Katie Ho at 2019 Route 66 Marathon expo
Manning (and woman-ing) our RaceRaves booth at the Route 66 Marathon expo

We were likewise joined by Shilpa, whom we’d met at the Tokyo Marathon in March and who had told us she’d be making the two-hour drive from Oklahoma City and “bringing a friend.” She then surprised us by showing up on Saturday alongside another of our favorite human beings in fellow Antarctica adventurer and Tokyo mate Louann. As if seeing the two of them together weren’t enough of a kick, they wasted no time grabbing a handful of flyers and evangelizing zealously to any passerby within earshot, telling them why RaceRaves was the missing secret ingredient in their lives. All while Katie and I sat behind the booth happily admiring and appreciating their salesmanship.

Saturday evening, with expo duty behind us, our focus turned to race day as the four of us—Katie, Louann, Shilpa and me—joined John and his wife Jen at their home for one of the most enjoyable pre-race meals we’ll ever have. Also joining us was the trio of fellow guests whom John would affectionately refer to as the “Yoopers,” since Donna, Laurie and Nancy all hail from the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. Like us, they’d met John in their running travels and were all in town for the marathon. John and Jen graciously hosted a fantastic evening of carbo-loading and camaraderie, highlighted in part by his remarkable portfolio of creatively carved jack o’ lanterns. Trust me, if you’ve never seen David Bowie’s face carved into a pumpkin, you’re missing out.

Later that night, back in our room at the Aloft Tulsa Downtown, it occurred to me as I laid out my racing gear that after a lively two-day expo and a memorable evening with friends, running 26.2 miles the next day might actually feel—anticlimactic.

Fortunately, as happens once or twice a year, I was mistaken.

Bird's eye view of downtown Tulsa at dusk
Dusk to dawn, a bird’s-eye view of the one-time “Oil Capital of the World”
Bird's eye view of downtown Tulsa at dawn

Tulsa, here we come (Start to mile 7)
Location, location, location. As advertised, the Aloft was located less than ten minutes (on foot) from the marathon start line, which as it turns out wasn’t quite as convenient as the Holiday Inn located 100 yards from the start where Louann and Shilpa were staying.

We met them on Sunday morning in the lobby of the Holiday Inn in plenty of time for the relatively late 8:00am start. I’d slept well after our busy two-day expo-rience; fortunately, I’ve run enough marathons now that I’m largely past the point of pre-race jitters. So sleep usually isn’t an issue unless the wakeup call comes brutally early, as in the case of the Comrades Marathon in South Africa which demands (and receives) a 2:00am wakeup. ‘Cuz if you plan to run 90 km in a day, you best get an early start.

With Thanksgiving just four days away, the morning was understandably chilly but otherwise perfect with clear, cerulean skies and just the hint of a breeze. This was autumn at its finest and the type of morning that looks stunning in pictures. Luckily, I’d be taking a few today.

Mike Sohaskey with Shilpa and Louann at the Route 66 Marathon start line
Shilpa and Louann are two of the best things about this running world tour

After a quick group picture, we each headed to our respective start corrals. I’d be running the full marathon while Louann and Shilpa would each be tackling the half, a fact that Shilpa—who’s run 120+ marathons in every state and on every continent, including both poles—made sure to remind me of one last time. She urged me to listen for her at the midway point, where the marathon and half marathon courses split and where she’d be the voice yelling, “SEE YA, SUCKERS!” at the marathoners. I hoped she wouldn’t get herself either arrested or chased off the course before I got there.

Another highlight from the expo had been a chance encounter with Route 66 race announcer Rudy Novotny, a high-energy guy and a well-known face/voice in the industry. Rudy had dropped by our booth to say hi and introduce himself, and on hearing I’d registered late and been assigned to start corral “D” at the back of the pack, he’d excused himself for a couple of minutes and then reappeared with a corral “A” sticker, which now lived proudly on my bib number. A super-cool gesture on his part. Now, as I listened to his familiar voice energize the restive crowd over the PA, I visited the raised stage alongside the start line to give Rudy a shout-out and a wave before retreating to my much-appreciated spot in the “A” corral.

Feeling good I bounced up and down in place, loosening my legs and craning my neck to witness the Native American drum ceremony at the start line followed by an a cappella singing of the national anthem. As I joined in the applause I took a deep breath, soaking up the morning and calming any last-second nerves as the hand cycle and wheelchair athletes crossed the start line. Let’s do this.

2019 Route 66 Marathon start

I was roughly 50 yards behind the start line when the famed Route 66 confetti gun fired, signaling the start of the race. Hmm, I thought as the first wave of runners surged forward, confetti raining from the sky. That was cool I guess, but not really the big deal I expected. Then the confetti continued to fall.

And fall.

And fall.

Turns out the Route 66 confetti gun is more of a confetti hose, with every starter in corral “A” (and presumably those in the following three corrals as well) being showered in colorful confetti as they crossed the start line. Much like runDisney with its start-line fireworks, this was a fun way to begin the race and one that embodied the all-inclusive Route 66 spirit of every runner matters.

Immediately the course headed away from downtown, and I felt amazingly good as I reflected on our RaceRaves success of the past week. Among other things, we’d published the results of our Runners Choice: Best Half Marathons in the U.S. initiative two days before hopping a plane to Tulsa for race weekend, and now the holidays lay ahead. So this was a great time to give thanks.

Mike Sohaskey in front of "Tulsa does it better" sign

My carefree mindset translated to an unexpectedly effortless stride—a bit too effortless in fact, and if my Garmin could talk, at that moment it would have howled at me to Slow down, stupid! Glancing at my wrist I saw an average pace of 7 somethin’ somethin’ minutes; so much for the adage that the slowest mile of any marathon should be your first. Thing is, after two days on my feet I had no intention of chasing a Boston Marathon qualifying time across Tulsa, and I quickly dialed back my pace so that by the time we reached the first mile marker, I was clocking a much more reasonable 8:30/mile.

Transitioning from commercial to residential along a tree-lined stretch of E 15th St, we entered the first of several charming neighborhoods. Here a sign welcomed us to the “Maple Ridge Mile” and let us know that if we’d forgotten anything (gloves, Vaseline, etc.), it would be available directly ahead of us. Sure enough, seconds later we passed a table where gloves and other goodies were laid out for the taking. And with that, we were introduced to Route 66 hospitality. (There’d be plenty more to come.)

I was careful to maintain a comfortable pace as we cruised past nicely manicured lawns and handsome homes that, architecturally speaking, were surprisingly diverse. Turning left onto E 21st St we passed the Skelly House, one-time home of oil tycoon William G. Skelly and now the residence of the University of Tulsa president. The home is also listed on the National Register of Historic Places.

"Hello from Tulsa" mural in Downtown Tulsa
One of the many murals in colorful Downtown Tulsa

In mile 3, with many runners still finding their groove, we were introduced to a hugely popular hallmark of the Route 66 Marathon—the “unofficial aid station.” Unlike official race aid stations which offer predictable marathon hydration like {yawn} water and Gatorade, frequent unofficial stations are set up along the Route 66 course—often in front yards—as a labor of love by the locals; these typically feature much more diverse and de-hydrating (read: alcoholic) options.

At this particular dehydration station we were greeted by a jovial group of spectators relaxing alongside a table of drinks. “Bloody Marys!” one offered as we passed. Yikes, I thought instinctively. If you’re stopping for a Bloody Mary at mile 3 of a marathon, you’ve got a looong day ahead of you. On the other hand, by mile 20 you’d probably be feeling very little of the pain the rest of us would be fighting through.

The next five miles featured a delightful tour of upscale neighborhoods that showcased high-end homes set back from the road by sprawling, well-kept lawns and lengthy driveways. Mile 5 began alongside the gated grounds of the Philbrook Museum of Art before ending in expansive Woodward Park, itself a recent addition to the National Register of Historic Places. Briefly diverging from this residential route, a ¾-mile stretch on Peoria Ave led us past shops and restaurants including the most official unofficial aid station of the day, the 3 Tequilas Mexican restaurant. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, FLOOR.

Mike Sohaskey cruising through Maple Ridge at mile 6 of the Route 66 Marathon
Cruisin’ through Maple Ridge, mile 6

Meeting the Mother Road (Mile 8 to midway point)
Heading west we ran (figuratively) into the Arkansas River, where a right turn led us north along Riverside Dr for the next three miles. “Eye of the Tiger” (finally!) blasted from a balcony to our right, and a tent alongside the course played Bell Biv Devoe’s “Poison,” which oddly enough I’d just heard three weeks earlier at the finish line in West Virginia after not hearing it for years. Was the song making a comeback? Had Bell, Biv or Devoe won The Masked Singer? I doubted all three of them could fit into one of those garish costumes together.

Running parallel to the river on closed roads was a course highlight even before we reached The Gathering Place, a world-class riverfront park voted “Best New Attraction of 2018” by USA Today. Not surprisingly, running past without stopping isn’t the best way to appreciate Tulsa’s hottest new family attraction, and especially given the two tunnels along Riverside Dr which actually routed us below The Gathering Place. Fortunately, Katie and I made time on our way out of town the next day to return and explore the park a bit. It’s ambitious to say the least.

Passing the Gathering Place in mile 10 of the Route 66 Marathon
No time to gather at USA Today‘s “Best New Attraction of 2018,” mile 10

Onward we ran, the smokestacks visible across the Arkansas River giving way to a steady line of tree cover—and beyond that, the hidden sights and sounds of West Tulsa. As we approached two spirited young volunteers with bullhorns, one of them called out “KNOCK KNOCK!”

“WHO’S THERE?” asked the other, to which the first responded, “MOO!”

“MOO WHO?” her fellow volunteer and I inquired in unison. I braced myself—this was gonna be good, I could tell. Then a moment of silence, and as I passed her the first volunteer blurted out, “WAIT, I MESSED UP!” Laughter ensued, so at least the joke had its desired effect. And as this a-moo-sement faded behind me, the last thing I heard was: “KNOCK KNOCK!” “WHO’S THERE?” ”COW!”…

Reaching the end of Riverside Drive, we turned left for a short out-and-back across the Arkansas River on the Mother Road itself—this stretch of less than a mile would be the lone segment of the marathon course to follow the original Route 66.

Mike Sohaskey on Riverside Drive in mile 11 of the Route 66 Marathon
“Why do all the cute ones run away?” (mile 11)

Search for Route 66 on a map today, and you’re likely to be disappointed. Established in 1926 to connect Chicago and Los Angeles as part of the original U.S. Highway System, Route 66 was instrumental in Tulsa’s growth and development before it was decommissioned in 1985. The route was the brainchild of Tulsa businessman Cyrus Avery, who recognized the potential economic impact of a federal highway system and who would later be known as “The Father of Route 66.”

One of the determining factors that enabled the passage of Route 66 through Tulsa was the existence of the 11st St Bridge across the Arkansas River, which connected Downtown Tulsa to the oil fields to the west and which Avery himself played a pivotal role in constructing. Though now in disrepair and closed to vehicular and pedestrian traffic, the bridge was added to the National Register of Historic Places in 1996 and renamed the “Cyrus Avery Route 66 Memorial Bridge” in 2004. The structure would eventually be deemed “too expensive to repair, too historic to demolish, and too valuable to ignore;” as such, it remains standing alongside the Southwest Blvd bridge on which we now ran. Unless you know it’s there, however, you could be forgiven for failing to notice its presence, much less appreciate its significance. And especially in mile 12 of a marathon.

Retracing our steps across the Arkansas River and heading back toward downtown, we ran beneath the historic Route 66 sign overlooking Cyrus Avery Centennial Plaza—the man got his props from the city, no doubt about it.

Running beneath the historic Route 66 sign during the Marathon

As if leaving Route 66 was our cue to get back to business, the course immediately headed up another short but nasty incline. As I was discovering the hard way, the Route 66 course has more than its share of hills what Marathon Executive Board Chairman Tim Fisher likes to call “character.” And that character was now threatening to suck the life out of my tired legs.

My Garmin’s mile alerts gradually fell further and further behind the official mile markers, which is typically the sign of a well-measured course. It’s when my GPS suddenly gains or loses half a mile relative to the official markers that I start to worry about course measurement. I wouldn’t have to worry in Tulsa.

I quickly lost track of the number of unofficial aid stations along the course, though Shilpa counted ten on the half marathon course alone. (This is in large part because the marathon and half marathon courses share the first 13 miles, hence more runners.) Beer, fireball (whiskey + cinnamon) shots, Jell-O shots and other adult beverages were happily being served, and as I passed one table covered with assorted bottles of liquor, I was reminded that John likes to roll up on aid stations—which usually means a friendly volunteer proffering a cup of water or Gatorade—and ask good-naturedly, “What’ve we got, bartender?” Now I understood that here at his hometown race, this was a legitimate inquiry.

This Land is Your Land mural on wall of Woody Guthrie Center in Tulsa
Mural on the wall of the Woody Guthrie Center alongside Guthrie Green

Don’t get me wrong; yes, I’ve (over)emphasized the unofficial aid stations to this point, but Route 66 also features plenty of “Official Block Party” tents and aid stations plus other helpful reminders—case in point the official race sign reminding runners to “Drink water first” and “DO HYDRATE.”

I can barely stomach one ounce of energy gel during a marathon, so alcohol certainly wasn’t happening; nonetheless, I keenly appreciated the lively local support. And if that’s how other runners choose to enjoy their race, more power to them—my enjoyment comes from reaching the finish line as quickly as possible while staying attuned to my surroundings. I don’t need to stop and interact with the course to appreciate its charm and quirkiness, but I can understand the appeal. And especially in the case of Route 66’s unofficial aid stations, which arose organically as an innovative way for residents to take part in race day, rather than out of any operational “spontaneity” on the part of race officials.

Passing the BOK (Bank of Oklahoma) Center in Downtown Tulsa the marathon course split from the half marathoners, and I heard Shilpa’s heckling in my head as we turned uphill into a slight headwind, our first of the day. Welcome to the next 13 miles, the course seemed to say. With an exasperated sigh, the woman running next to me said, “I should’ve run the half.” I laughed and told her I planned to enjoy this second half. Then I powered up the hill, intent on escaping the towering shadows that had usurped the soothing warmth of the late-morning sun.

Still I felt good as we passed the 13.1-mile mark in the city’s Blue Dome entertainment district. Here the roads became rougher and the course more commercial. Most of the roads along the course were relatively smooth and well maintained, though as with any urban race there were times when I felt the need to stay vigilant for cracks and potholes. Luckily, such sections were few and far between.

Halfway home.

Passing Centennial Park in mile 14 of the Route 66 Marathon
Passing Centennial Park, mile 14

Rollin’, Rollin’, Rollin’ (Midway point to finish)
Along with the hills, the other aspect of the Route 66 course that discourages speedy finish times is its sheer number of turns—there are a lot of turns, with the three miles along the Arkansas River being the longest uninterrupted stretch of the day. The course’s convoluted layout made running the tangents (i.e., the shortest possible distance from start to finish) nigh impossible, but it did keep things interesting while doing nothing to impede my enjoyment.

Just after mile 14 (and again at mile 24) we passed Oaklawn Cemetery. As if being a cemetery weren’t ominous enough, Oaklawn made national news recently as the site where a forensic team excavated at least 12 coffins in its search for victims of the 1921 Tulsa race massacre, in which as many as 300 Black residents were killed and the prosperous Black neighborhood known as “Black Wall Street” was destroyed. None of us blithely running past Oaklawn (twice) on that crisp November morning had any idea of our proximity to a mass grave, of course, but even in retrospect the thought is chilling.

It was around the midway point that two days at the expo began to catch up with me as my right hamstring tightened a bit, followed by my upper right quad in mile 16. I wasn’t overly concerned since a) I’d expected this and b) neither ache affected my already conservative pacing, though they didn’t exactly make running more comfortable, either. Luckily I knew that as soon as I crossed the finish line, I’d be taking a break from marathons for at least the rest of the year.

After sitting out West Virginia three weeks earlier, Katie made up for lost time with appearances at miles 6, 9, 15.5, 20 and 25.5, not to mention both the start and finish. In other words, she was everywhere—everywhere except, ironically enough, on Route 66.

Mike Sohaskey in mile 16 of the Route 66 Marathon
Still within sight of the 3:50 pacer, mile 16

On-course musical entertainment included live acts such as a memorable honky-tonk band in the early miles and classic go-to favorites like “Eye of the Tiger.” One unofficial aid station greeted us with “Sweet Home Alabama,” and I was disappointed not to hear any spectators or volunteers step up and seamlessly substitute “O-kla-HO-ma” in the chorus. Talk about a missed opportunity.

With every race I run, it becomes harder to find new signs I appreciate—creative marathon humor seems to be in short supply. And yet in Tulsa I did see:

“This parade is too fast” (a welcome riff on the tired “Worst Parade Ever”)

“You’re the slowest runner yet!” (which sounds insulting at first blush but which was simply true)

“You’re running better than the government” (a personal favorite I’ve seen with increasing frequency the past few years)

Owing to the lack of half marathoners (who outnumbered marathoners in Tulsa nearly 3:1), spectators were understandably more sparse in the second half. This is typical in races like Route 66, where half and full marathoners share a course for the first 13-ish miles. It also meant the organizers had saved the best for first, meaning a more scenic and attractive first half. Indeed, the second half featured a steady diet of pleasant but forgettable neighborhoods, although in their defense late November isn’t the best “dress to impress” time of year with both grass and trees sporting monochromatic brown wardrobes. And while I still appreciated these neighborhoods (since too many marathons rely on monotonous second halfs), I didn’t feel the need to admire each and every one as I struggled to maintain pace.

The hands-down highlight of the second half arrived in mile 21 as we reached the University of Tulsa, which we entered via a smoothly paved, tree-lined semi-oval before circling the campus. I know nothing of its academic programs, but from an architectural perspective TU was newer and more impressive than Marshall had been. And its shrewd placement here in two of the most difficult miles of any marathon was a much-needed distraction.

Mike Sohaskey running on the University of Tulsa campus in mile 21 of the Route 66 Marathon
Walking on sunshine at the University of Tulsa, mile 21

Every urban marathon has its nondescript patches, its less scenic sections that feel inevitable in the search for 26.2 miles. In Tulsa this was the two mile-stretch after the university, as we navigated homeward past the usual lineup of fast food, pharmacies and bail bond shops. By that point, though, scenery mattered not as my attention was focused largely on the tops of my shoes.

Heading west we enjoyed our second-longest straightaway of the day, and suddenly it hit me how tired I was of making turns. Running straight ahead with no immediate turn in sight felt good, and my fatigue lifted momentarily with the realization of having less than 5 km to go.

Glancing left I couldn’t help but notice the prominent spires of Parish of Christ the King, an eye-catching example of Tulsa’s proud Art Deco architectural tradition. And as we turned north onto S Peoria Ave (thus completing a nine-mile loop), I appreciated the view of Downtown Tulsa beckoning us in the distance while feeling beyond grateful not to be an oncoming runner on the other side of the road with 10+ miles still ahead of me. 😓

Thanks to the cold weather, my bottle of Maurten sports drink—which I’d grabbed from Katie in mile 16 and which I’d sip on until mile 23—would be all I’d need to fuel my morning run, and so the only time I’d use an (official) aid station would be to grab a cup of water and rinse off my hands, since my fingers were more or less stuck together after sloshing sugar water on them for seven miles.

Katie next to the Hurt's Donut Emergency Donut Vehicle in downtown Tulsa
A Tulsa innovation perhaps, but every city needs an Emergency Donut Vehicle (and a Katie)

As running mantras go, “Roll with it” might be the best choice for Route 66. The course seemed intent on flexing its muscle, and as one hill led to another and with each descent seemingly followed by a corresponding ascent, I battled to maintain pace and avoid walking. More than anything I wanted to stop and walk, but I also knew that walking 50 yards would quickly lead to walking 100 yards would lead to “Who cares if I break four hours?” would lead to an unhappy finisher. So I forced myself to keep pushing through muscle tightness, mounting fatigue and my general bitterness with Tulsa’s ups and downs.

On a couple of the ups I trailed a woman wearing a singlet that read on the back, “Does this pace make my butt look fast?”. As much as I wanted to encourage her since she looked to be struggling, I didn’t want to invite a misunderstanding by cheekily (no pun intended) responding in the affirmative; besides, chances were good her marathon-fogged brain wouldn’t appreciate the reference anyway. So instead I gasped out my usual “Nicely done” and flashed a thumbs-up as I huffed and puffed my way past her up the hill.

At long last I passed the mile 25 marker and soon after arrived at a Route 66 exclusive—the Center of the Universe detour. Billed as the “World’s Shortest Ultra Marathon” for folks who “wish those 26.2 miles were actually a little longer,” Route 66 offers a 0.3-mile detour to what the city hails as the “Center of the Universe,” an unexplained acoustical anomaly that acts as your own private echo chamber. The detour is entirely optional (though I can’t imagine running the race as a first-timer and not taking it), and for their efforts runners receive a commemorative coin to complement their finisher’s medal.

Mike Sohaskey at turnaround of the Center of the Universe detour at the Route 66 Marathon
Turnaround at the Center of the Universe detour with “Miss Fortune” (in red dress) and Marathon Executive Director Destiny (second from right in black jacket), plus one last unofficial aid station pick-me-up

Of course, this wouldn’t be Tulsa if the road leading to the COTU weren’t uphill—and not just uphill, but among the steepest of the day. Silently I thanked/cursed John for omitting this detail. I fought up the hill, feeling like one of the concrete pillars lining the road as I tapped into my fast-dwindling energy reserves. I knew not where the actual COTU was, nor did I much care—there’d be time to appreciate that later—and in the space of a few feet I passed Katie, the COTU and Destiny Green, the Marathon’s Executive Director, who was apparently there in part to cheer on her mom.

Reaching the turnaround I gratefully accepted my commemorative coin, made the turn past “Miss Fortune” (one of the detour’s famed drag queens… did I mention Route 66 is a shameless party?), and headed back the way I’d come. I was completely oblivious to the “ONE MILE TO GO” banner that apparently hung overhead, my mind laser-focused on the finish line.

I seemed to take forever to get there. At this point I knew sub-four hours was in the bag, and so I wasn’t in any real hurry to finish, but still I refused to walk. Mentally I expected (unrealistically) to see the finish line the moment I left the COTU, and so the final mile felt more like five, with four more turns between me and my destination. Every time I glanced up hoping to see the finish, I’d see runners ahead of me disappear around another turn. Past the BOK Center and up one last hill we trudged as a volunteer with a megaphone announced, “You’ll be disappointed to hear this is the last hill,” to which a woman to my left replied with a squeal, “YOU’RE MY FAVORITE PERSON ON THIS ENTIRE COURSE!!!”

Tulsa mural

Three blocks later we reached that long-overdue beacon of hope: the mile 26 marker. Just beyond that, a sky-blue Tulsa vintage postcard mural on N Boulder Ave welcomed us to the city’s Arts District while reminding us who had hosted this crazy li’l shindig.

If you’ve never experienced the indescribable joy of turning a corner and seeing a marathon finish arch dead ahead, then you are missing out. It’s an emotion I wish I could bottle and share. This is especially true in Boston, where once you make that final left turn onto Boylston you have nearly half a mile of straightaway to bask in your accomplishment along with the crowd’s adulation. In Tulsa, that feeling of euphoria washed over me as I turned onto W Cameron St and applauded the cheering spectators who lined the right side of the home stretch. High-fiving Katie and a few others, I proudly held up my coin and heard my name announced by OKC native Mark Bravo’s familiar voice as I crossed under the red and blue finish arch in a very acceptable time of 3:54:47, having cleared the four-hour barrier with room to spare.

I’d rocked the Route, and it had rocked me right back.

Mike Sohaskey finishing the Route 66 Marathon
Ah, those halcyon days of nonchalantly high-fiving another human being

Oil’s well that ends well
As usual after my last marathon of the year, I was wiped out. And though I didn’t feel as gassed as I had after the Jacob Wells 3 Bridges Marathon in 2018 or CIM in 2014, still I was psyched to be done. With five new states plus a World Marathon Major in Japan and an iconic ultramarathon in South Africa, 2019 had been a wildly successful racing year.

I took a moment in the finish chute to gather my wits, wanting to throw my arms around Tulsa and give the city a massive hug. Gratefully I accepted my finisher’s medal along with a bottle of water and Gatorade (munchies such as Mazzio’s Pizza were also available, but I just couldn’t) and then headed for the exit where I took out my elation on Katie, throwing my arms around her as we celebrated 30 states down, 20 to go. She even bought me a “26.5 Finisher” t-shirt at the Fleet Feet Tulsa tent, which I’m now wearing as I write this.

Slowly I diffused over to Guthrie Green, a lovely urban park and ideal post-race venue. Drew and Louann—close friends from our Antarctica trip who hadn’t realized each other would be in Tulsa—had finished the half marathon and were relaxing on the grass soaking up the afternoon sun while an 80s cover band entertained the crowd onstage. Apparently Shilpa, confident and content to rest on her marathon laurels, had failed to respect the half marathon distance and was now resting on her hotel room bed instead after her own 13.1-mile effort.

Mike Sohaskey celebrating with friends at Guthrie Green following the Route 66 Marathon
Reunited, and it feels so good: Celebrating with Louann and Drew at Guthrie Green

I could have fallen asleep right there on the warm grass myself, but the three of them needed to hit the road soon, so we made plans to shower and reconvene for a quick lunch. Before leaving the scene of the crime, though, I checked out the VIP room in the adjacent Zarrow Center, a sweet perk for 50 States Marathon Club members. There a massage therapist prodded my distressed quad and told me my SI joints were misaligned, which could account for recurring glute and hamstring pain on my right side. I made a mental (and now physical) note to look into it.

I couldn’t leave without cheering Mississippi buddy and fellow 50 Stater Evelyn across the finish line. As I waited, a couple of runners approached the finish wearing “TEAM BEEF” shirts, and I applauded their effort as I silently high-fived myself. Always a good day when a vegetarian can beat Team Beef, I thought wryly. I knew that Evelyn, being a vegan herself, would approve.

Mike Sohaskey and Evelyn in the home stretch of the Route 66 Marathon (mile 26.4)
Evelyn sighting in the home stretch, mile 26.4

Drew likewise stopped to cheer on a friend to the finish, though he was rewarded with a bitter “Fuck this race!” And Katie shouted encouragement to another woman who responded with, “Running’s dumb!” Nowhere does the human spirit shine quite so brightly as at a marathon finish line.

We met Drew, Louann and Shilpa for lunch at Fat Guy Hamburgers, located in the Greenwood District. Known in the early 20th century as “Black Wall Street,” Greenwood was the site of the 1921 Tulsa race massacre. On this day, though, Fat Guy was the perfect spot for a celebratory lunch with three fabulous people (& Katie) who I never would have met were it not for my good fortune in being able to see the world 26.2 miles at a time.

Post-race dinner at the Bricktown Brewery
When the unofficial aid station becomes official: Toasting an epic weekend at Bricktown Brewery

The same would be true of our evening meal as we gathered with John, Jen and the three Yoopers—each of whom enjoyed her Route 66 experience, hills and all—for dinner and drinks at Bricktown Brewery. John is a self-made expert in “post-race pain management” (i.e., he’s a brewpub connoisseur), and Bricktown did not disappoint. And that night we said our farewells with the promise we’d all meet again one day soon—and in some cases sooner than others, as we’d bump into Yooper Laurie at The Gathering Place the next day. Luckily Michigan is one of my remaining 20 states once the COVID clouds lift.

Three days later, as we boarded a flight home from Dallas Love Field Airport after a quick Texas stopover to visit family, the TSA agent pulled aside my backpack, rummaged through its captivating contents and extricated my sleek Route 66 Cadillac hood ornament finisher’s medal. “This looked like a knife on the scanner,” he explained. “It does look sharp,” I admitted, my punny humor going unappreciated.

Route 66 was a spot-on choice for my first Oklahoma marathon, and one I’d happily run again. Tulsa won me over with its sights and sounds, its people and places, its angels and demons. And there’s a reason the city recently finished third in our RaceRaves Best Midsize Racing Cities in the U.S. poll. Because while T-Town may be the second largest city in the Sooner State, I’d argue the label “Tulsa, OK” doesn’t do it justice. Tulsa is a vibrant and historic destination, whether you’re running a marathon in every state, chasing nostalgic slices of Americana like the 75-foot-tall Golden Driller or Space Cowboy “Muffler Man” Buck Atom, or romanticizing the “good old days” by driving the Main Street of America from Chicago to Los Angeles.

Because be it on foot or by car, you’ll get your kicks on Route 66.

Mike Sohaskey and Katie Ho finish line selfie at the Route 66 Marathon

BOTTOM LINE: In a city known for its block parties, Route 66 bills itself as “Oklahoma’s Biggest Block Party”—and it may be right. Though “fun” may not be the first word you associate with the Sooner State, there’s a reason Route 66 is an annual favorite with runners across the U.S. including national clubs like the Marathon Maniacs and Half Fanatics. From its colorful confetti gun start to its popular “unofficial aid stations” to its Center of the Universe detour (earning it the title of “World’s Shortest Ultra Marathon”) to its Arts District finish alongside Guthrie Green, few marathons take care of their runners like Route 66.

Yes, the rolling course boasts its share of hills—or what Marathon Executive Board Chairman Tim Fisher prefers to call “character”—but then again if you run 26.2 miles for fun, chances are you’ll sound a bit silly complaining about a few ups and downs along the way. Besides, there’s no better place to walk off your hard-earned post-race soreness than The Gathering Place, a sprawling urban park along the Arkansas River located in mile 10 that was voted “Best New Attraction of 2018” by USA Today. So then I guess what I’m saying is YES, you really will get your kicks at Route 66.

PRODUCTION: Full disclosure, we spent two days hosting a booth at the Route 66 expo, so I had ample time to pick up my packet and explore the expo. That said, the entire weekend was smooth sailing, and aside from holding the race in Upper Texas (sorry, I grew up in Dallas so the Texas-OU rivalry is still ingrained in me), I can’t recall any memorable glitches or obvious areas for improvement. Great expo, great start line, high-energy (albeit hilly) urban course, a “ONE MILE TO GO” banner that I missed while staring at my shoe tops, plus a comfortable recovery venue after the race in Guthrie Green. Aside from that last dozen or so hills, what’s not to love?

And hills notwithstanding, Route 66 is a great race for first timers—not only for its terrific on-course support but because first-time marathoners and half marathons earn a shout-out on their bibs as well as an exclusive “My First Marathon” or “My First Half Marathon” medal to celebrate their accomplishment.

Route 66 medal in front of the Tulsa Route 66 Rising sculpture
Route 66 Marathon Center of the Universe challenge coin

SWAG: Route 66 features some of the best swag out there, including a nicely fitting jacket (for full and half marathon finishers), finisher’s medal (which in 2019 was modeled after a 1940s Cadillac hood ornament), Williams-branded gloves, and even hand sanitizer which turned out to be downright prophetic and the most useful freebie of all. And with a new five-medal series leading up to the event’s 20th anniversary in 2026 and showcasing popular, larger-than-life symbols from along Route 66 in Tulsa (such as Space Cowboy “Muffler Man” Buck Atom), the bling promises to remain a creative conversation starter.

Updated 50 States Map:

Mike Sohaskey 50 States Map on RaceRaves.com

RaceRaves rating:

FINAL STATS:
Nov 24, 2019 (start time 8:00 am, sunrise 7:09 am)
26.78 miles in Tulsa, Oklahoma (state 30 of 50)
Finish time & pace: 3:54:47 (first time running the Route 66 Marathon), 8:46/mile
Finish place: 197 overall, 16/105 in M 40-49 age group
Number of finishers: 1,429 (804 men, 625 women)
Race weather: clear & cold (38°F) at the start, sunny & warm(er) at the finish
Elevation change (Garmin Connect): 674 ft gain, 698 ft loss
Elevation min, max: 620 ft, 794 ft

Forty is the old age of youth; fifty the youth of old age.
– Victor Hugo

For my 50th birthday on November 20, I was supposed to be on the East Coast preparing for the Philadelphia Marathon, one of the few races I’d registered for this year before a microscopic virus with a nasty disposition knocked the world off its axis.

When that race was (predictably and rightfully) canceled in July, we shifted our focus to one of our favorite destinations and the Queenstown International Marathon, happening Nov. 21 in New Zealand. Unfortunately, the New Zealand government had (predictably and rightfully) communicated in no uncertain terms that potentially contagious Americans were not welcome, even those willing to quarantine upon arrival. So there went that idea.

(On the topic of pandemic control, Queenstown ended up hosting 8,330 finishers on race day—1,374 in the marathon, 4,418 in the half marathon and 2,538 in the 10K—making it significantly larger than any American race held in the past eight months. Clearly the Kiwis are doing something right whereas we… are not.)

With nowhere to travel, no one to visit and no place to race, I decided instead to take advantage of our beautiful SoCal surroundings and postcard-perfect weather to spend my 50th birthday doing what I love—running. And though running your birthday in miles can be pretty cliché, I don’t know many runners older than 30 who choose to “celebrate” in this way. (In fact, I briefly considered quitting myself at the 50 km = 31.1-mile mark; luckily, my brother Chuck was running with me at that point so quitting wasn’t really an option—that is, until he quit at mile 35 after we passed the point of no return. Shrewd Chuck, veeeeery shrewd.)

And so, with Katie as my seemingly omnipresent and omnipotent support crew, I set off from Marina del Rey just after sunrise, my only goal being to reach Fashion Island in Newport Beach by dark and under my own power. That gave me roughly ten hours to cover a largely paved & flat course at sea level including refueling stops, rest breaks and traffic negotiation, plus any unforeseen challenges. No problema.

Best of all, unlike my usual A-to-Z race report, I’ve managed to encapsulate ten hours of high-energy, edge-of-your-seat shuffling athleticism in just 2+ minutes of video, courtesy of the Relive app. Join me on a speedy virtual tour of SoCal beach cities:

Crunching the numbers and analyzing the data yielded an average pace for my 2020 birthday run of 1 mile/year — assuming my parents and birth certificate are to be believed, ‘cuz I know my Garmin is.

Not bad for a young’un, eh Mr. Hugo?

Birthday weekend brunch c/o the Griddle Cafe at Yamashiro Hollywood, an LA favorite—if you squint, you can just make out the white Hollywood sign between palm fronds

FINAL STATS:
Nov 20, 2020 (start time 7:16 am, finish 5:24 pm)
50.3 miles from Marina del Rey, CA to Newport Beach, CA
Total elapsed time: 10:08:01 (12:05/mile)
Sunrise/sunset: 6:32 am/4:47 pm
Weather: clear & cool at the start (50°F) and finish (64°F), high of 72°F in Long Beach
Elevation change (Garmin Connect): 586 ft gain, 500 ft loss
Elevation min, max: 0 ft, 194 ft

(Click on the image for a higher-resolution version)

The Thin Yellow Line

Posted: November 18, 2020 in CATCH-ALL

In three words, I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: it goes on.
– Robert Frost

I never imagined I’d preface a blog post this way, but the following contains graphic images (not my own) from an automobile accident along with potentially disturbing descriptions of human suffering. This is the most difficult post I’ve ever written; I double- (and triple-) clutched several times, uncertain where to start, uncertain where to end, and still uncertain of what exactly transpired to change lives so suddenly and so dramatically on the evening of September 23. As unwelcome as the memory is, though, if writing this can save one person’s life out on the open roads of America, then it’s worth it. Thanks for hanging in there with me.


They never had a chance.

Like a swarm of angry bees, the realization buzzed angrily through my head as I tried to verbalize what I knew to the calm, earnest voice on the other end of the line. Grim desperation settled across my shoulders like a lead blanket, my dazed mind trying to find words for what I’d just witnessed.

How could the world suddenly have gone so… quiet? Ironically, it was the search for much-needed solitude that had drawn us out here to Southern Utah, that and its indescribable beauty. And to be sure, we’d found both in recent days in such breathtaking destinations as Zion National Park, Cedar Breaks National Monument and Bryce Canyon National Park, not to mention one of the most spectacular views in the United States, the Horseshoe Bend in the Colorado River just outside Page, Arizona.

My atheism notwithstanding, if any place on the planet would qualify as God’s Country, it’s Southern Utah. And the past week had been an incredible road trip I’d not soon forget. Now, though, standing helplessly beneath a vast desert sky, I’d have given it all back just to rewind the world by two minutes.

Like the eye of a hurricane, the sudden quiet in which I now found myself was the calm at the center of an emotional storm, a storm that had broken without warning moments earlier as the most horrific scene of my life played out before my disbelieving eyes. And like the most unforgiving storms, this one was about to get worse.

Google Maps image of US-89 near Kanab in Southern Utah

Every day the dreamers die
Trying to remain calm, I described to the 911 operator what I’d just witnessed on this lonely stretch of two-lane highway outside Kanab, Utah—how we’d been driving west after leaving Arizona when the SUV first passed us, crossing the dotted yellow line at significant speed to do so before accelerating further as we dropped back a safe distance; how that same SUV had then done the unthinkable, blindly crossing the solid yellow line that separated us from the other lane in a reckless attempt to pass a slower-moving semi truck—and then, as we watched in horror, how the SUV had realized its disastrous error and attempted at the last second to retreat back into its own lane, the semi alongside unwittingly acting as a fast-moving wall blocking its path.

In the split second that followed before all hell broke loose, I’d felt like I was living in the Matrix.

No no no no no, this cannot be happening—the panicked thought barely took shape before the {BOOM} of immovable object meeting irresistible force at 80 mph, accompanied by the instantaneous shattering of glass and crumpling of steel, caused my stomach to convulse in horror. The sickening sound, as I remembered it afterward, was strangely muted, unlike the carefully choreographed symphony of destruction we’ve been conditioned to expect by Hollywood.

“Oh, SHIT!” I yelled as Katie pulled over and I immediately dialed 911, throwing open the door of our car and stepping out into a ghastly and deafening quiet. No noise could I hear from within either vehicle—not the movement of a door trying to open, nor the wounded groan of an injured driver, nor the desperate voice of someone crying for help. Nothing. The only sounds I recall were the voice of the 911 operator in my ear and the hiss of steam rising from beneath the hood of the mangled VW sedan, which had absorbed the full impact of the oncoming SUV without any time to react.

They never had a chance.

Fighting back shock, I slowly approached the VW, watching for signs of flames arising from either vehicle—I had no idea what to expect, no idea how I’d be able to help anyone involved in such a brutal head-on collision at such an impossibly fatal speed. I relayed the relevant details (along with several non-relevant ones) to the 911 operator as I focused my attention on the disfigured VW. Both vehicles looked so… beyond help, and I couldn’t imagine my long-dormant CPR skills being of much good to anyone inside. My brain’s instinctive warning signals aside, though, I had no choice.

Steeling myself, I glanced inside the driver’s side window. The tinting coupled with the oblique lighting from the setting sun at our back made it tough to see anything inside the sedan, and neither the driver’s side nor passenger’s side door would budge. Dammit. Helplessness washed over me as I relayed my findings to the 911 operator, admitting I wasn’t sure how many passengers were inside the vehicle and asking her whether I should try to move anyone in the vehicle if it came to that. She told me she’d leave that to my judgment and, before hanging up, assured me that highway patrol and a medical team had been dispatched to the scene. According to my phone log, the call lasted roughly four minutes.

It’s shocking how long four minutes can seem.

Fortunately, passing drivers had begun to stop, and several were now leaving their cars to help assess the situation and clear scattered debris from the road. Circling to the passenger side of the car, I could see a man of approximately college age in the back seat, leaning against the door with a dazed look on his face. And my heart fell with the realization that this meant there was likely another passenger in the front.

Other passers-by were now checking on the driver and passenger(s) in the SUV, none of whom had moved. From my own vantage point I could see only the deployed airbag on the front passenger side of the vehicle, suggesting the driver had at least had time to hit the brakes. But that was as much as I cared to know; no one else here had witnessed the brutal scene unfold as we had, and so still battling a maelstrom of emotions—not the least among them disgust toward the SUV driver—I returned my focus to the VW sedan. And suddenly it occurred to me—the semi was nowhere to be seen; apparently it had continued on its way without stopping.

Once someone else was able to break the driver’s side window, I reached in and tried to access the lever to either recline the seat or move it back, a futile effort given the condition of the vehicle. As I did so, I heard the driver before I saw her.

She was sprawled out awkwardly across the front seat facing away from me, her long blonde hair and slight build the only indications of her gender. In the gathering shadows I couldn’t see her legs—where were her legs?—but her lifeless, incoherent figure resembled a toppled retail-store mannequin.

In a different context, I’d never have imagined the guttural, staccato sound that now filled the vehicle to be human. As awful as it was, though, her labored breathing was at the same time heartening—she was alive, struggling courageously for every breath but still very much alive, despite the devastating blunt-force trauma she must have suffered from the steering column that now occupied much of the driver’s personal space. Alive, but for how long? I had no way of knowing and no hope of freeing her from the wreckage that imprisoned her and her passenger. And what if I could? I dared not risk trying to move her—with my lack of medical training, who knew what additional damage I might do trying to play hero.

She’d never had a chance.

My mind was racing as I turned away from the car in frustration. Where was the highway patrol? Where were the medics? Why were they taking so long? Soon several others were able to get the rear door on the driver’s side open to help the back-seat passenger escape the car, and I glanced up to see a young white man with tousled reddish hair, blood streaming down his face from a nasty gash above his left eye. Luckily I’m not squeamish, and though I can’t speak for Katie, the look in her eyes said she too was dialed in and ready to help.

Another man gently guided the stunned passenger away from the wreckage and over to the side of the road, where an off-duty nurse (who’d likewise stopped to help) spread out a blanket for him to lay on. Katie and I agreed to stay with and monitor him while the chaos continued to unfold around us.

Meanwhile, someone succeeded in smashing the front passenger-side window, and our nurse friend reached in to check for a pulse on the motionless form still trapped within the gnarled mess of the front seat. A moment later I saw her shake her head and knew that at least one member of the car was beyond help.

The surreal futility of the moment was wrenching—I knew absolutely nothing about this passenger, no clue as to their age, gender or ethnicity. Moments earlier they’d been very much alive, engaged in a spirited conversation with their companions, on scrolling on their phone, or catnapping en route to who knows where, the road ahead of them paved with sky-high hopes and crazy plans and whimsical dreams. Now those hopes, those plans, those dreams—that life—had all been destroyed in the blink of an eye, strewn across the asphalt like so much broken glass. And they’d likely never seen it coming.

The VW sedan carried the driver plus two passengers (photo: Utah Highway Patrol)

Strength in numbers
Thankfully our young charge, though clearly disoriented, was alive and conscious with no apparent difficulty breathing, a huge relief since neither of us are medical professionals and we didn’t know when they’d arrive. Understandably, he was also in severe shock. As he lay on the blanket, he repeated several times that his tummy hurt and that he had to throw up. We helped turn him on his side, realizing after several false alarms that this was a sentiment he would continue to repeat until the medics arrived.

In the meantime we were advised to keep him talking, and so we asked him about himself. He told us in a quiet, distant voice that his name was Lee; we also learned Lee was possibly a college student in Sandy, Utah. Few other details were forthcoming and we didn’t press; we simply wanted to ensure that his adrenaline kept him conscious and safe until the medics arrived. He kept repeating at regular intervals that his tummy hurt; calmly we tried to reassure him that this was normal, that he was strong and that his tummy would be fine because the doctors were coming to take care of him.

Lee asked us a couple of times what had happened and at one point asked about Annie and another name I didn’t catch, suggesting he’d been traveling with friends and not his parents. Casually we dodged each question and again inquired about his breathing, which he seemed to confirm was not an issue; this allowed us to breathe easier too. Our new nurse friend came to check on Lee and told him he’d been in an accident, which seemed to surprise him—I’d never witnessed shock to this extent, and clearly this was the body’s psychological defense mechanisms on full display. In a way I envied his ignorance at that moment, though I knew his return to reality would be anything but enviable.

Their heroic and selfless efforts notwithstanding, in that moment I couldn’t imagine being a highway patrol officer or Emergency Medical Technician (EMT) whose job it is—if not routinely, then far too often—to respond in the aftermath of accidents such as this. My own reaction came from a place of naïve shock at having never witnessed death play out before my eyes in such a jarring and senseless fashion. And as far as my own mental health goes, I hope never to reach a place where inexplicable violence no longer comes as a visceral shock to my system.

“I’m scared,” Lee said softly, his voice wavering slightly as he lay with eyes closed beneath a clear night sky that now shimmered with stars. We held his hand and assured him he was ok, that he was safe, that we wouldn’t let anything happen to him, and that we would care for him as long as we needed to until the doctors got there. Several times he asked us to promise him as much. Our confident reassurances seemed to calm him a bit; fortunately his demeanor hadn’t changed, and his breathing seemed stable. We complimented him on his strength, on his bravery, on how well he was doing and how much better he’d feel just as soon as the doctors arrived. Where were the medics?

With my focus on Lee, I noticed in my peripheral vision the crews that were now laboring with crowbars to remove the front section of the VW sedan, presumably to gain access to the driver and passenger.

Throughout this ordeal, Katie and I were the only ones on the scene to wear face coverings, and unless I was called on to perform CPR—which now seemed against all odds—I saw no reason to remove mine. This was the first time I’d willingly defied social distancing guidelines in more than six months, and despite the circumstances our close proximity to other people felt remarkably normal. And welcome.

As we continued to reassure Lee of his health and safety I noticed his anklet, his painted fingernails, and the metal cross dangling from one ear. I wondered about their significance as a helicopter appeared overhead, landing on the road beyond the demolished SUV. Someone in uniform finally joined us, quickly examining Lee and asking him, “I don’t care what you think of him, do you know who the president is?” Lee answered correctly which was encouraging, and one of the officers now on the scene asked me to don gloves and hold Lee’s neck steady on his side until the medics could apply a brace. Which I did until he began to complain of difficulty breathing, at which point I let him roll onto his back again.

Soon reinforcements arrived and the professionals took over, skillfully wrapping and immobilizing Lee in a sleeping bag-like cocoon before attaching him to a stretcher and whisking him away to Kane County Hospital and our own eventual destination, the nearby town of Kanab.

Then our attention shifted to finding the officer in charge and letting him know we were the only witnesses to the accident. After expressing his appreciation for our help, he told us that medics had intubated the driver to help her breathe and that her legs would never be the same. But she was alive and in good hands, and that was more than I’d dared to hope for after seeing her car absorb the full impact of a high-speed, head-on collision. At this point we have no way of knowing what her quality of life will be going forward, as she struggles to recover from a complete stranger’s wildly reckless and inexplicable decision. But at least she’ll have a second chance, and that’s infinitely more than her passenger got.

Days later a Google search would reveal that the driver, 19-year-old Piper Anderson, had been flown to Dixie Regional Medical Center in St. George where she’d been admitted to the ICU in stable but critical condition. Katie and I wish Lee and Piper all the best for a robust recovery and lifelong health—and if any of their friends or family reads this, please let them know their strength and courage that evening exceeded anything I’ve seen in my half-century on this planet. Tragically, our hearts go out to the family of 20-year-old Annika “Annie” Jaramillo, the passenger who died at the scene and whose mother lovingly described her as a popular figure on TikTok and “a light to hundreds.”

All we’ve learned to this point about the SUV is that the driver was taken to Kane County Hospital in poor condition while the passenger was flown to Dixie Regional Medical center in critical condition. And so we may never get an answer to the evening’s most burning question: Why? How did it happen? What was the driving thinking? Was he or she distracted? Under the influence? Or simply arrogant enough to think the rules of the road, carefully designed to prevent accidents and ensure everyone’s safety, didn’t apply to them?

The officer in charge kindly informed us that our off-duty nurse friend had spoken very highly of our efforts at the scene, which lifted my spirits a bit since we could take solace in knowing we may have saved at least one life. In fact, before she’d left us (to let her husband know her whereabouts before he panicked), she’d gently assured us that to suffer only one fatality out of five in a high-impact collision like this was “really good.” And another kindhearted nurse, this one a member of the onsite medical team, advised us to take care of ourselves, saying “You’ll need it for a while.” How right she was.

Stepping away briefly, the officer returned with two clipboards and asked us each to fill out a report as to what we’d seen, which we gladly did. During our conversation I’d been wearing my RaceRaves mask, and as I handed back the clipboard he smiled and said to me, “You look like an ultrarunner; you look like you wouldn’t stop at 26 miles.” I smiled for the first time in hours as I confirmed his detective work, and he told me he’d be running his first marathon at the upcoming Beaver Canyon Marathon, with a sub-four-hour finish as his goal. We chatted briefly about his training, and I wished him well while assuring him he’d do great. Afterward it occurred to me that our exchange was probably his shrewdly professional way of introducing a kernel of normalcy into the evening’s chaos, and I appreciated him for it.

There’s no shortage of distractions on Utah’s roads & highways

The Long Road Home
Still in a mental fog but with nothing more to add, we returned to our car and continued on our way, past the long and unmoving line of cars trying to fathom why their evening commute had come to an abrupt stop out here in God’s Country. Fortunately, our 30-mile drive to Kanab was uneventful, though I found myself leaning—as if pulled by an invisible hand—to the right and away from oncoming traffic as I tried to relax in the front passenger’s seat, the same position Annie had occupied two hours earlier. Katie’s a skilled and vigilant driver, but she could have been Evil Knievel and it wouldn’t have mattered—my anxiety on that drive was exceeded only by the next day’s drive to the North Rim of the Grand Canyon and the following day’s 500-mile drive home to Los Angeles.

And if I’m being honest, I can’t tell you when—if ever—I’ll feel comfortable driving on a two-lane highway again, something I’ve spent countless hours of my life doing without hesitation on road trips across America.

My own reluctance, though, will be nothing compared to what awaits the driver of the SUV. Even if he or she is fortunate enough to make a full physical recovery (and let’s hope they are), how do you recover psychologically—not to mention financially—from the most devastating decision of your life? How do you wake up every morning under the black cloud of vehicular manslaughter? And how much guilt can one person shoulder? I wish them all the strength and support they’ll need to live a life that isn’t defined by its worst day.

Later that night I cried—brief but cathartic, and not necessarily for anyone in particular but again for the abject futility of what we’d witnessed, of one life taken and four others shattered so suddenly and so senselessly. Some things you can never unsee. The emotional black hole of my thoughts was overwhelming, and it’s no surprise human beings cope with grief and loss by assuring ourselves everything happens for a reason, while denying the same could happen to us.

Because while we like to think our own ending will be happy, that we’ll have the luxury of living disease-free to a ripe old age before fading away in our sleep surrounded by loved ones, the reality is that few of us will. This year alone, we’ve been confronted with countless sobering reminders of that fact—from Kobe Bryant to Chadwick Boseman to Ruth Bader Ginsburg to Eddie Van Halen to the 250,000 Americans who have already died from COVID-19. And as a ubiquitous pandemic assails us with daily reminders of our own mortality, it’s no surprise the number of Americans reporting mental health challenges has risen dramatically in recent months.

“I know I was born and I know that I’ll die; the in between is mine.” These lyrics from another musically gifted Eddie, Pearl Jam lead singer Eddie Vedder, were the first words published on this blog more than eight years ago. They were words to live by then, as they still are today. And so I try—try to seize every day as an opportunity never to be taken for granted, and to make every second of the in-between count. Try not to sweat (too much of) the small stuff, because it’s safe to say that if in 2015 you’d asked me where I saw myself in five years, my answer probably wouldn’t have been, “Sequestered in my house avoiding other people all day.”

Try always to do what I love and love what I do, even if that means forsaking my comfort zone for something completely different. Try to learn from my mistakes. Try to make people laugh. Try to err on the side of empathy. Try to take care of the people closest to me. Try not to hold grudges. And try to appreciate how lucky I am to be with someone who makes me a better human every day, a goal I certainly couldn’t achieve on my own. To bring this full circle back to Pearl Jam, I’m glad Katie can’t find a better man.

That’s it; that’s all I can do. And while I may not always succeed in my efforts, it won’t be for lack of trying. And if one day I’m out running trails and happen to get gored off the side of a mountain by a cantankerous billy goat—well, c’est la vie. Life is funny, often in very unfunny ways. And at the end of the day Robert Frost was right, though with one important caveat.

Life does go on—except when it doesn’t.

Horseshoe Bend in the Colorado River near Page, Arizona

Our nation is shaped by the constant battle between our better angels and our darkest impulses. It is time for our better angels to prevail.
– Joseph R. Biden, Jr

"How about a cup of Joe (Biden)?" sign

Much like everyone else, my mind over the past several weeks (/months/years) has been a maelstrom of thoughts and emotions, most of them centered on the pandemic and the presidential election. So to help clear my head, I thought I’d do a “brain dump” of sorts and share some of my (many) thoughts on last week’s election of Joe Biden and Kamala Harris to be the next President and Vice President of the United States, respectively. After which I hope to calm my mind and refrain from (overt) political punditry here for a while. Here goes nothing…

+ It took four painfully long years, but with the news on Saturday that Joe Biden had earned Pennsylvania’s 20 electoral votes to claim victory and become the President-Elect, Donald Trump finally lived up to his promise to Make America Great Again.

+ Or as The Washington Post correspondent Philip Bump so astutely encapsulated The End, “The man who said he wouldn’t play golf as president learned that he would no longer serve as president while he was playing golf. An almost Shakespearean coda.”

+ I look forward to Kamala Harris being a visible and productive Vice President and a much larger, more competent figure than her predecessor Mike Pence. Pence more than lived down to the expectations of John Adams, who once dismissed the VP position as “the most insignificant Office that ever the Invention of Man contrived or his imagination conceived,” while reaffirming FDR VP John Nance Garner’s more succinct appraisal that “The Vice-Presidency isn’t worth a pitcher of warm spit.”

+ I’m excited for empathy’s return to the White House, for images of the president and vice president once again smiling around other people (once we control this pandemic), and for more iconic photos like this one that have their own Wikipedia page:

Hair Like Mine photo by Pete Souza

+ Clearly Joe Biden is a man destined for greatness, which I can say with confidence since a) his Secret Service code name is “Celtic” and b) he’s the first US President with whom I’ve shared a birthday. 😆 ☘️ 🎂

+ If a picture is worth a thousand words, then this tweet is worth at least a thousand more, conveying as it does the abject desperation that comes with suddenly realizing your relentlessly dishonest reality distortion field just lost its mojo at the worst possible time:

Trump "STOP THE COUNT!" tweet

+ At the same time, I empathize with all the Trump supporters in Michigan and elsewhere who showed up to echo his sentiments outside vote tabulation sites, screaming for election officials to “STOP THE COUNT!” After all, three days earlier my Dallas Cowboys had been up 9-7 at halftime and so I’d yelled for them to stop the game, but then they’d gone ahead and played the entire second half anyway, letting the crooked Philadelphia Eagles pull another 16 points out of who-knows-where to steal a win they didn’t deserve. It was a fraud on the football-watching public and an embarrassment to our country. The Cowboys were getting ready to win the game. Frankly, they DID win the game. And I asked myself, what’s the NFL come to when a team that’s won only 2 games in 8 tries can’t change 100 years of league rules to avoid a reality that doesn’t align with its own unhinged fantasy?? So yeah, I could empathize.

+ And speaking of counting votes, huge respect to all the election officials, poll workers and dedicated volunteers who saw to it that democracy was served by diligently counting every vote while MAGAt-driven, conspiracy-fueled chaos swirled around them.

+ To me, Twitter is to social media what that first Presidential debate was to civil discourse. That said, if you’re trying to explain (or understand) America’s two-party system in the year 2020, these election-night tweets from each party’s youngest member of Congress are a great place to start:

Election-night tweets from each party's youngest member of Congress

(This was a day before Cawthorn vowed to “work to bring an end to partisan politics.” Strong first step, Madison.)

+ I’ll leave it to the presidential historians & professional pundits to provide the 1,000+ words to accompany this “mic drop” graphic from Jennifer Bendery of HuffPost:

Venn diagram of presidents that have been impeached or resigned, served one term, and lost popular vote.

+ The longer the president protests the results of the election without a single shred of legally admissible or acceptable evidence, and the longer he cripples the nation’s ability to transition to a new leader by refusing to concede (none of us expect “gracious”), the clearer it becomes that he doesn’t give two f*cks about the country or the Constitution he swore to uphold.

+ And while we’re calling out faux patriots, nothing is more un-American than enablers like South Carolina’s newly re-elected (and re-emboldened) Senator Lindsey Graham parroting the president’s baseless claims of voter fraud, while suggesting that the Pennsylvania legislature (which has a Republican majority) choose its own set of electors to override the will of the voters. As a far-right pipe dream, this is as dangerously undemocratic as it gets, though it may not even qualify as rock bottom for a seasoned sycophant like Graham, who freely admitted on the Fox News Channel on Sunday, “If Republicans don’t challenge and change the U.S. election system, there will never be another Republican president elected again.” It’s the ultimate hubris—the GOP doesn’t need to change, our democratic elections (which already favor Republicans thanks to the electoral college) do.

+ In fact, you can’t throw a pebble without hitting a glaring inconsistency in the campaign’s “voter fraud” argument. If the accusation is true, for instance, then why wasn’t the same underhanded strategy used to Hillary Clinton’s benefit in 2016? And why then is Adrian Fontes, the official in charge of counting those same “controversial” ballots in Maricopa County (Phoenix), currently losing his own re-election bid by a narrow margin?

+ A mandate for hope: Although many progressives (including several friends) with 2016 PTSD quickly turned dark and started thinking in doomsday scenarios as the initially GOP-heavy vote totals rolled in on election night, Democrats ended up winning the White House convincingly with the most votes in US history, plus they maintained their majority in the House of Representatives despite losing several seats, plus they still have an outside shot—with one unresolved Senate race in Alaska and two January runoffs in Georgia as of this writing—to win the Senate. I’m more cautious optimist than election analyst, but I’d call that a successful night.

+ I like to imagine soon-to-be-unemployed White House Senior Adviser Stephen Miller’s upcoming résumé: Results-driven racist with a passion for fascism seeks like-minded employer to broadly scapegoat individuals at fault for my own character failings. Problem-solving disrupter unburdened by transparency or accountability. Track record of success in managing cross-dysfunctional teams, kidnapping children from their parents, and jumping into a girls’ track meet mid-race to publicize my deep-seated self-esteem issues. Available immediately.

+ When I consider who is best positioned to carry forward the self-immolating torch of Trumpism and re-energize his followers for the next presidential election, it’s certainly not any current member of the House or Senate (no matter how many shoes Ted Cruz kisses) nor any of the president’s equally unqualified and forever-dependent dependents. Instead, taking into account 45’s reckless disregard for the truth, his carefully crafted persona as a reality TV bully, and his complete socioeconomic disconnect with the demographic he deigns to represent, I’m convinced Tucker Carlson will be the GOP presidential nominee in 2024. Only the power of the presidency could surpass the power and paycheck that comes with being the Fox News Channel’s most popular provocateur. (Disclaimer: I hope I’m wrong.)

+ With nearly 240,000 Americans dead from COVID-19 and those numbers climbing quickly, this was a presidential election in which voting Republican could literally kill you.

+ Speaking of which, why is the media continuing to report on escalating COVID-19 infections and deaths? My president assured me they would stop talking about it on November 4.

+ No matter what an erratic lame duck president does in the next 70 or so days, it looks like Anthony Fauci will outlast his sixth administration and presumably stick around to advise his seventh on how best to navigate this pandemic. Because science always wins, and until our policy reflects that fact, this virus will continue to devastate the nation.

+ I’d love to sit here and say with conviction that the pollsters got it all wrong for the last time and that I’m officially over them… but come 2024, I’m sure I’ll play Charlie Brown to their Lucy, taking my running start and trying in vain to kick that football all over again.

+ The ultimate irony to Joe Biden winning Georgia may be that he owes his victory to his opponent’s #1 strategy this election season, voter suppression. Without it, Stacey Abrams (a force of nature if ever there was one) almost certainly would have won the governorship in Georgia in 2018, in which case she would not have started Fair Fight Action to organize, educate and advocate to promote free & fair elections across the state. The tireless activism of Abrams and her team is the single biggest reason Joe Biden became the first Democrat since Bill Clinton in 1992 to win Georgia. How’s that for karma?

+ I grew up a comic book junkie, and while a nearly 78-year-old Joe Biden may be no Superman, it certainly does feel like the country took a heroic step forward this week in its battle for Truth, Justice & the American way.

+ And on January 20, the whole world will watch as the President-Elect transitions into his new role as the 46th President of the United States, while the current president makes his own transition from one-time leader of the free world to classic flight risk. Note to Secret Service: you may want to keep an eye on the back doors at Mar-a-Lago.

+ Bottom line: I love my progressive and conservative friends alike, but we all deserve so much better than the past 4 years. We need the Republican Party in this country, just not the untethered version we’ve seen in recent years that peddles easily refuted lies and cuckoo conspiracy theories, led by a petty, score-settling Narcissist-in-Chief and bolstered by his enablers. Nor do we need the bomb-throwers who rail mindlessly against the corruption and inefficiency of government while doing everything in their power to make that a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Naively optimistic as it may sound, I know huge challenges like a global pandemic, climate change and income inequality can be conquered when we set aside personal differences and agree to work together (case in point, Barack Obama’s Affordable Care Act which passed the Senate on a 60–39 vote and which provided an additional 20–24 million Americans with health care coverage). Because Bill Clinton said it best: “There is nothing wrong with America that cannot be cured by what is right with America.”

Now we just have to roll up our sleeves, get out there and prove it. 🇺🇸

Comedy-tragedy masks

With one week to go until what many Americans are calling the most consequential presidential election of our lifetimes, I figure the most valuable public service I can perform (aside from voting) is to help educate and inform the Ken Bones of 2020—that is, my fellow citizens who aren’t afraid to rock a red sweater and who, God bless ’em, somehow have yet to make up their mind between the Democratic candidate Joe Biden and his Republican opponent (and incumbent president) Donald Trump.

To that end, I’ve prepared the following easy-to-follow flowchart to help the still undecided/uncommitted voter make a more informed choice based on personal preferences and the issues that are most important to them. Simply follow the green (for “yes) or red (for “no”) arrows to reveal your ideal candidate. Feel free to share this with all your undecided friends—and don’t forget to cast your own vote on or before November 3!

…but no one was interested in the facts. They preferred the invention because this invention expressed and corroborated their hates and fears so perfectly.
­– James Baldwin, Notes of a Native Son

Just think — Fox News on TV is even less reliable than Fox News online

Ever since Mary Trump’s least favorite uncle first rode his gilded escalator o’ lies into the Oval Office, he and his supporters have wielded the term “fake news” to decry any media coverage that’s not in 100% agreement with their worldview. In fact, the president and his disciples use the term much like the eponymous blue cartoon characters use the word “smurf,” sprinkling it liberally and seemingly at random throughout their communications, though in their case to avoid the overarching reality that, like a reverse alchemist, everything this president touches turns to lead.

Unless you’re looking to get very wasted very quickly, I’d avoid any drinking game during a Trump press briefing that involves the term “fake news.”

Not surprisingly, Leader 45 isn’t the first authoritarian-in-training to exploit the term “fake news” to try to discredit the mainstream media. In 1930s Germany, Adolf Hitler and his Nationalsozialistische Deutsche Arbeiterpartei, or Nazi party, commonly disparaged independent media as the enemy of the people and as Lügenpresse, German for “fake news.” (A lot of people are saying that der Führer, who died in his bunker less than 14 months before our current president was born, may have been reincarnated as a dumb, depraved NYC real estate developer.)

And never mind the fact that as of this writing, the president himself had managed more than 20,000 false or misleading claims during his time in office — a mind-bending average of nearly 16 per day, and a number that’s actually increased to 23 per day over the past 14 months as the pressure of being the nation’s worst-ever Commander in Chief has clearly taken its toll.

All that said, fake news is indeed alive and well in America today, and in exactly the place you might expect if you have any sense for the president’s go-to strategy of deflection and projection. I recently happened upon this article from the white-makes-right-wing Fox News Network — it’s a perfect example of fake news and the template for how the GOP’s leading propaganda machine does business. So I thought I’d break down the process in a brief tutorial I’m calling…



Step 1: Grab eyeballs with a misleading headline

As anyone who’s spent five minutes on the Interwebz can tell you, controversy sells. That isn’t just Click Bait 101; it’s the North Star for both the Fox News Network and the entire Trump presidency. So using a headline that promises a “crude remark” leveled against a beloved (to the Fox News audience) member of the administration is sure to command people’s attention. What was this uncouth comment made to the White House Press Secretary? Who made it? And who do they think they are?

If it bleeds, it leads — but don’t be afraid to chum the water to get there. And now that they’ve set up those pins, time to move in quickly and knock ‘em down before they fall on their own…

Step 2: Set the stage: Weaponizing outrage

Two points here:

  1. Choosing to single out a (Canadian) reporter who works for an Arab news network based in the Middle East immediately gives Fox News an essential villain to play against the heroic American press secretary. This is the tried-and-true Fox News strategy of us (the real news) vs. them (the fake news). And no one plays the victim card as shamelessly as Fox News and the GOP in general, led by the head of the party whose presidency can be summed up in his own words: “I don’t take responsibility at all.”
  2. Saying that “social media was set ablaze” belies the unspoken truth that the arsonists were largely right-wing antagonists looking to foment distrust and create controversy where none actually existed. As Alfred noted to Bruce Wayne in The Dark Knight, “Some men just want to watch the world burn.” (But at least the Joker had a sense of humor.)

So then the plot thickens — a crude remark! Social media set ablaze! And OH, the speculation! We’re on the edge of our seats now, assuming this must have been a serious transgression by this rogue reporter from a news network with a foreign-sounding name. With that the stage is set, and the puppet masters at Fox News are ready to watch us dance…

Step 3: Build a case: Guilty until proven innocent

You could be forgiven for thinking here, as any sane non-Foxophile might, “Come ON guys, no legitimate member of the White House Press Corps (and whether Fox likes it or not, Al Jazeera is a legitimate news network) would jeopardize their career by publicly unleashing a profane bomb like that.” At this point common sense dictates that at its worst, this is a misunderstanding that could have been resolved easily and without the subsequent abdication of journalistic responsibility. But of course, this isn’t journalism — it’s another Fox News hit piece, a scaled-down version of what the network did following the murder of Democratic National Committee employee Seth Rich in 2016.

And if it’s true that “Many took to Twitter” (how many? MANY) and “The video quickly went viral with people on both sides of the aisle chiming in,” then why are the only two third-party sources quoted in the article from right-wing Twitter? Where’s the damning quote from an equally outraged pundit on the other side of the aisle? Nowhere to be found, because much like Lewis Carroll’s Jabberwocky, no such nonsensical creature exists. This is simply Fox News doing what Fox News does best: fake news and faux (or is that spelled “Fox?”) outrage.

Step 4: If they defend themselves, they must have something to hide

At last, we reach the segment where Kimberly Halkett has a chance to defend herself, something (as it turns out) she never should have had to do, because she was only doing her job — and apparently doing it well by “grilling” the White House Press Secretary (note that defensive wording). That said, Halkett does defend herself quickly and professionally, knocking down this absurd house of cards with — wait for it, wait for it, here it comes — THE TRUTH. The most powerful weapon in journalism, like water to the Fox News wicked witch.

I would say an inconvenient truth, but aren’t they all to this network?

Note too that the alleged slur “lying bitch” is COMPLETELY MADE UP, with no basis in reality. Not only did Halkett never say it, but what she actually said sounded nothing like it. This is a personal smear designed to maximize outrage, and even if its own reporter isn’t the one who cut this idiocy out of whole cloth, Fox News is more than happy to give it wings and lend it credibility. Given the network has no apparent issue with publishing blatantly fabricated sexism, the allegations of sexual misconduct against key Fox personalities (including Tucker Carlson, see below) dating back to 2016 should come as no surprise. Deflect and project.

Step 5: Downplay the truth and never apologize

The final sentence destroys the entire premise of the article and does so with the curt, dismissive nonchalance of an artist who’s been here before, as someone with chronic dandruff would brush away flakes from their shoulder:

You know your journalistic boat has sprung a serious leak when even a normally staunch ally like Daily Caller pulls the plug on your bullshit. Though speaking of Daily Caller, its co-founder and shame-free Fox News talking head Tucker Carlson predictably refused to let the truth stand in the way of a new conspiracy theory, arguing that a White House reporter like Halkett might conceivably (though she didn’t) say such a thing “[b]ecause creating a moment like that, almost tailor made for social media can transform an unknown blogger into a Twitter star in just a few minutes.” Is this really the same slow-witted goof whose public “disemboweling” (to quote his then-cohost Paul Begala) by Jon Stewart 16 years ago led to the cancellation of his CNN show “Crossfire”?

Take-home lessons

So then a quick recap of what we’ve learned here on how to create fake news: 1) concoct a semi-credible lie against the enemy, the more outrageous the better; 2) build on that initial outrage with supporting evidence from questionable sources to put the accused on the defensive, 3) gently (if at all) back out of the lie when confronted with indisputable truth.

When the smoke cleared, Fox News got what it wanted from this story — another cravenly disingenuous hit piece on the “fake news” media (with bonus bigotry against a Middle East-sponsored news outlet), along with the lasting impression that a member of the mainstream media may have resorted to calling the White House Press Secretary a “lying bitch” when said reporter didn’t get her question answered. True, it never actually happened and the accusation was 100% fabricated, but that doesn’t matter — another seed has been planted in the receptive minds of the Fox News viewership. And as even the worst gardener will tell you, if you plant and nurture enough seeds, sooner or later some are going to take hold and bear fruit.

To be sure, journalism is a profession practiced by people, and as such it’s prone to human error. Typically, such errors involve harmless typos or misspellings — though I may never recover from the 2004 headline from The Providence Journal that warned, “Rumsfeld’s Pubic Role is Shrinking” — along with the occasional forgivable error of omission or misinformation. What is neither professional nor forgivable, though, is the disinformation and outright fabrication that have increasingly proven to be a feature rather than a bug of the powerful Fox News Network.

Ironically, this Fox News fairy tale just happened to appear on the same day The Hill reported that Rep. Ted Yoho (R-FL) was seen confronting and overheard calling Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) a “fucking bitch” on the steps of the Capitol in front of reporters. (If you haven’t seen AOC’s response to Mr. Yoho on the floor of the House, I highly recommend you check it out.) Thing is, that wasn’t fake news, and Rep. Yoho is now suffering real-world consequences for his sexist outburst. Deflect and project.

Not surprisingly, a search for Kimberly Halkett’s name on either The New York Times or The Washington Post yields zero results, while CNN mentions her only to further discredit the Fox News coverage. Apparently, in the midst of a cratering US economy, nationwide racial unrest and a global pandemic that’s already claimed nearly 150,000 American lives, there is in fact enough real news to cover without having to resort to making up your own.

What’s important to note is that thanks to the stench from this red herring, Kayleigh McEnany once again got off scot-free without having to defend the president’s dangerous, evidence-free insistence that “mail-in voting is going to rig the election” and that “mailed ballots are corrupt” (except, apparently, in his own case). Keep in mind, McEnany is the same individual who, on day one of her current job, stood at the White House podium and promised the assembled press corps, “I will never lie to you.” Which was the first of her many lies since. Still, she has a long way to go to catch her boss.

Lather, rinse, repeat. Or in the case of Fox News distract, disparage, deny. It’s the Fox way — and it’s the very definition of “fake news.” Kids, don’t try this at home. (Seriously, don’t.)

Class dismissed!

(For extra credit, check out this eye-opening chart that shows the outsized influence of Fox News in brainwashing America. In a recent study from the Pew Research Center, only Fox News and ABC were trusted by as many as 33% of Republicans, whereas one-third of Democrats and all US adults trusted nine or more sources. Conversely, Republicans tend to distrust more news sources than Democrats [see original study], including several sources deemed “Most Reliable” by the Media Bias Chart, above.)

News Sources_Pew_Jan 2020